That's it exactly. There are several people here who really have been very good and helpful to me, without whom I would starve and have to go without medical supplies and toiletries. But there are also some who are, as you say, acting out a fantasy in which they're the big kind hero offering help, but when you actually say, "Yes thank you I need help with this," they don't want to know and either you never hear from them again, or they string you along for a while (getting their dopamine hit from acting like a hero) and then when you're getting frantic and desperate, wondering when the help will arrive, they stop contacting you. And you're left wondering whether they just changed their mind or whether they were playing you the whole time. And it's much worse than if nobody had offered help at all because to get that offer of help when you are desperate is such a relief, you check back your messages several times a day with such hope, wondering when you'll finally get to eat, or get whatever you need, and after several days (or even weeks in my previously mentioned case) comes the sinking feeling and realisation that they aren't going to follow through.

I don't know whether these people get off on it, or whether they really are just so unaware of how devastating them changing their minds is. But you've actually made sense of another poster here who I was confused by. When I first started posting here, someone sent me a small donation. They chatted to me a lot, then they said they would be looking out for my future posts, and gave the strong impression that they intended to give more help when I needed. So I was really confused about why they never responded to me again. But now I understand.

It's especially awful on the occasions I've had to make two or three posts over a week or more before getting a response, to have someone finally respond is huge, and then if that person doesn't follow through, it's just crushing.