Reposting from the megathread since it's slow atm and wanted to share the good news!

I have some good news to report. I've made some headway in cutting porn out of my life. I haven't looked at it in days! I consider this some progress as I needed it to get off. So instead I'm using drawn smut as a substitute and I don't feel the same self-loathing for getting off to stuff I'd normally not be comfortable with. I've also cut down on getting off all together, down from every day to every 2-3 days, again progress!

Next up is to quit smoking/vaping and start incorporating some exercise into my life. I'm thinking about getting back into walking again as I used to do it a lot.

    • VOLCEL_POLICE [it/its]B
      ·
      2 days ago

      Show

      The VOLCEL POLICE are on the scene! PLEASE KEEP YOUR VITAL ESSENCES TO YOURSELVES AT ALL TIMES.

      نحن شرطة VolCel.بناءا على تعليمات الهيئة لترويج لألعاب الفيديو و النهي عن الجنس نرجوا الإبتعاد عن أي أفكار جنسية و الحفاظ على حيواناتكم المنويَّة حتى يوم الحساب. اتقوا الله، إنك لا تراه لكنه يراك.

      volcel-police

  • Erika3sis [she/her, xe/xem]
    ·
    2 days ago

    This is maybe a bit apropos, but today I finally got around to writing a bit more of my "for my eyes only" erotic novel. I haven't done that in months, even though writing smut comes highly recommended from me. Have you ever tried this? I find it "meditative" for lack of a better term.

      • Erika3sis [she/her, xe/xem]
        ·
        edit-2
        2 days ago

        Not really. Becoming a writer and getting off to whatever you write isn't really an effective way to quit porn for most people, I wouldn't think. What writing smut can be instead is a way to reflect in a somewhat structured and absolutely creative way about what sex/porn/masturbation/fetishes/whatever actually mean to you — that's why I call it "meditative". It's a complete blank canvas with no-one to judge you but yourself, and what better way to unlearn your own brainworms about sex than by giving yourself that sort of a quiet space to confront them? So for instance the key themes in the story that I'm writing for myself are things like beauty, shame, self-acceptance, identity, and connection, because these are the sorts of topics which have impacted my own relationship to sexuality the most.

        ...But I guess I've just always been the type to hyper-psychoanalyze every facet of my own sexuality, and felt like most other people by comparison tend not to be nearly as interrogative of their own internalized attitudes to sex, even when a bit of introspection probably would do them good.

    • ComradeMonotreme [she/her, he/him]
      ·
      2 days ago

      Have you ever tried this?

      I've not written anything for a long time but folk around here may remember that I do self-photography/self-bondage/greenscreen editing to produce softcore Bdsm erotica.

      And channeling horniness through creative activities is far more rewarding than consumption.

      • Erika3sis [she/her, xe/xem]
        ·
        2 days ago

        Channeling anything through creative activities is far more rewarding than consumption, frankly.

    • Frogmanfromlake [none/use name]
      ·
      2 days ago

      I’ve done that and have a few erotic novels I’ve written when going through particularly bad horny spells. People seem to really like them so I guess something good came out of my moment of horniness lol

  • MouthyHooker [she/her]
    ·
    2 days ago

    Hi there! If you feel like porn is having a negative impact on your life and relationships, it’s great that you’ve been able to stop watching it.

    But there are many, many people creating porn who aren’t exploited (or at least, aren’t more exploited than other workers under capitalism.) Most of the mainstream porn studios are exploitative, but if you subscribe to an independent creator’s OnlyFans, you’re actually supporting a worker directly. I am a sex worker and about 10% of my monthly income comes from OnlyFans.

    If not watching porn is the right choice for you, I support you. But I absolutely hate this narrative that consuming adult content is inherently wrong or bad. That’s Puritanical anti-sex nonsense, and the people pushing that narrative all have a religious agenda. Please don’t perpetuate that shit.

    Sex workers are workers and our customers aren’t bad people.

    • SorosFootSoldier [he/him, they/them]
      hexagon
      M
      ·
      2 days ago

      Ty and I don't mean to be anti-sex work at all and of course I support only fans, it's just that porn was a negative part of my life and I'm happier now having removed it!

      • MouthyHooker [she/her]
        ·
        2 days ago

        People can definitely become compulsive with porn and need to make a change, so if it was a negative influence for you, I’m glad you’ve stopped watching it. I’ve just seen a huge increase in this “exploitation” rhetoric that coincides with a huge increase in the deplatforming, shadowbanning, and debanking of sex workers.

        I mean this in a comradely way, but the view that porn=exploitation is anti-sex work and it can be harmful for us. 😕 I know people don’t mean to cause harm but y’all are falling for very effective anti-sex propaganda.

        • SorosFootSoldier [he/him, they/them]
          hexagon
          M
          ·
          2 days ago

          I mean this in a comradely way, but the view that porn=exploitation is anti-sex work and it can be harmful for us. 😕 I know people don’t mean to cause harm but y’all are falling for very effective anti-sex propaganda.

          Thanks for correcting me then! Yeah it was compulsive and harmful to my mental health. I'll edit my post.

          • MouthyHooker [she/her]
            ·
            2 days ago

            Thank you for being open to feedback.

            I’m glad you have been successful with stopping compulsive behavior. I’ve never struggled with porn but definitely have struggled with compulsive spending/shopping so I know it can be hard to make a change. I hope your mental health continues to improve heart-sickle