gender is socially constructed. saying that you prefer "natural born women" is exactly like saying you prefer people who weren't "born a criminal"

  • gay [any]
    2·
    4 years ago

    You don't seem to understand that "cis person dating a trans person" is irrelevant. Saying that you wouldn't date a trans person is transphobic (you make assumptions on their bodies, how they have sex, what they look like) but dating or having sex with trans people is not the way you fix that.

    Just think about the way cishet men will have sex and brutalize trans women and still refuse to acknowledge their womanhood (because, misogyny).

    If you want to be a better ally, know that not making assumptions is your duty.

    But in reality, this argument (original post) is not about a cis person looking for a new trans date. It's about cis people accepting that trans people are their gender, that their bodies are not wrong and that they know what their sexuality is (a trans woman is a woman and she can be a lesbian). AND that the people they're dating/having sex with are not a different sexuality/making an "exception" or that they're secretly trans themselves (cis lesbians dating trans women are lesbians regardless of her partner's body).

    • BOK6669 [none/use name]
      2·
      4 years ago

      I don't disagree with any of that though. I don't think I made any assumptions, I just didn't expound to the nuance you need from me.

      And I never said I wouldn't date a trans person, but I did say that if a relationship progressed, male sex organ would be something not for me. And of course, that's not something you can just know.

      • gay [any]
        2·
        4 years ago

        but I did say that if a relationship progressed, male sex organ would be something not for me.

        Irrelevant comments be like:

        • BOK6669 [none/use name]
          1·
          4 years ago

          The original post was that having a preference between cis and trans women is transphobic. I agree, having a preference on illusionary bullshit is phobic. I stated that if a relationship progressed to the point of sex, male sex organ is not for me and that I can't change it.

          I think where the problem is that I skipped a lot of details to where that conclusion is relevant and just focused on my personal boundaries (mostly because I thought this was main- not somewhere where I needed to be very clear and concise.)

          • gay [any]
            2·
            4 years ago

            Yeah, that makes sense. But I'm still gonna need you to accept the internalized transphobia part.