But I don’t trust a stranger - or even some of my friends - with a 50lb muscle-y ass dog.

Absolutely agree. These are dangerous animals, on a bad day if it caught me off guard, a pit bull or other similar dog could literally kill me. And could very well desire to. That's the kind of animal that, like chimpanzees as you mentioned, shouldn't be regular-ass people pets. They should be the kind of animal handled by trained professionals.