this stems from another conversation on this site.
a commenter used the pronoun "they" because they didn't know the gender. Commenter could have looked at an inactives users profile to see the pronouns were she/her, but they didn't.
So the question is: is it wrong to use pronoun "they" when you simply don't know or needed to know the gender? I was told that "liberals" use it aggressively/offensively to trans people, but most liberals i know aren't smart enough to know about pronouns and how to use them properly.
I've been using "they" to admit gender ignorance all the fuckin time so im just trying to see if im wrong or not. Because ive never heard of this before. and i thought this site had told me everything by now lol
edit: thank you all for the comments. ill certainly try to remember to check pronouns of inactive accounts before i talk about them, but we need to be able to debate from a reasonable position and jumping to "HOW DARE YOU SAY THEY YOU LIB" isn't going to do shit. Lenin created schools to educate workers, Hexbear is our school. and i fucking love this school.
In my friend group, the one cis guy (we're working on it) kept defaulting to they for all of us for a couple months cause we all basically transitioned at the same time lol just 5 people newly using she, he, they, and his poor brain couldn't keep up. I didn't give him a hard time about it and he eventually got it sorted.
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I don't actually know, we just have trans variants of many emojis.
That's 100% understandable, and there's a huge difference between being understanding of someone struggling in a context like that, vs not bothering to click a link to verify before throwing up your hands and acting like it's unknowable. I also assume you knew the person well enough to know he was actually trying, which doesn't often apply online.
Yeah, that's true.
and that's my other point: the words versus the intent(especially on the internet where words have no tone). Pronouns are trickier territory than racial slurs.
Which is exactly why we should be more aware of using someone's correct pronouns when possible, to avoid misunderstandings.
ok yea that could be a bit much at first haha. i could understand even more if they knew everyone before transition. i dont have any long time friends that transitioned, its mostly people ive met recently so that makes it easier. if my long time best friends transitioned i would call them "he" on accident for sure.
Wholesome. I have a learning curve for friends changing pronouns and whenever I do it wrong I say "fuck" and correct myself.