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  • T_Doug [he/him]
    ·
    4 years ago

    I would argue that masturbation is the human animal's most important adaptation. The very cornerstone of our technological civilization. Our hands evolved to grip tools, all right—including our own. You see, thinkers, inventors, and scientists are usually geeks, and geeks have a harder time getting laid than anyone. Without the built-in sexual release valve provided by masturbation, it's doubtful that early humans would have ever mastered the secrets of fire or discovered the wheel. And you can bet that Galileo, Newton, and Einstein never would have made their discoveries if they hadn't first been able to clear their heads by slapping the salami (or "knocking a few protons off the old hydrogen atom"). The same goes for Marie Curie. Before she discovered radium, you can be certain she first discovered the little man in the canoe.”

    Quote from Ready Player One

    • FlakesBongler [they/them]
      ·
      4 years ago

      You just know that when he banged that one out, he said to himself "Yeah, Ernest, that's the good stuff"

      • T_Doug [he/him]
        ·
        4 years ago

        It's honestly impressive that he know that millions of people have now read it, and he still hasn't invested his fortune into one of the memory removing machines from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.

    • Blurst_Of_Times [he/him,they/them]
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      edit-2
      4 years ago

      knocking a few protons off the old hydrogen atom

      He managed to pick the one element whose molecules are composed of a single proton and nothing else. Amazing.

      • ssjmarx [he/him]
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        4 years ago

        He's also wrong about masturbation being the "human animal's" adaptation - have you ever seen chimpanzees at the zoo? They don't give a fuck what month it is or how many people are watching.

      • Pezevenk [he/him]
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        edit-2
        4 years ago

        molecules

        Atoms. And they have electrons too, plus there are isotopes of hydrogen which have neutrons too. You tried to criticise him for getting things wrong and YOU GOT IT WRONG YOURSELF HAHAHAGA DESTROYED HAHAHHA