Okay I'm going to make the mistake of being sincere on the internet now. I haven't had sex because of a physical disability/condition, so yeah I understand what you're saying. The anxiety of meeting a person and all is quite huge. In my limited time that I tried to date someone , I wasn't able to find someone that looked past it (some actively made fun of my disabilitiy), so maybe I just live around shitty people, or I'm the shitty person, but yeah. Maybe all of the anxiety around sex and that could be avoided if you were to find someone that is caring or a long term partner, but that's very hard to find and also could not be what you want, so I dunno. While I definitely do not consider myself volcel or anything like that, and will probably start to try dating again when Covid is under control, at the end of the day just do what makes you happy in that regard. If it's not having sex then go ahead and do that. Sorry if this comes across as rambling or anything, just wanted to share my thoughts in the hope that they could be useful or something. If it sounds like complete garbage just discard it.