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Okay I'm going to make the mistake of being sincere on the internet now. I haven't had sex because of a physical disability/condition, so yeah I understand what you're saying. The anxiety of meeting a person and all is quite huge. In my limited time that I tried to date someone , I wasn't able to find someone that looked past it (some actively made fun of my disabilitiy), so maybe I just live around shitty people, or I'm the shitty person, but yeah. Maybe all of the anxiety around sex and that could be avoided if you were to find someone that is caring or a long term partner, but that's very hard to find and also could not be what you want, so I dunno. While I definitely do not consider myself volcel or anything like that, and will probably start to try dating again when Covid is under control, at the end of the day just do what makes you happy in that regard. If it's not having sex then go ahead and do that. Sorry if this comes across as rambling or anything, just wanted to share my thoughts in the hope that they could be useful or something. If it sounds like complete garbage just discard it.
You can take a temporary time for involuntary celibacy and unpack the internalized homophobia without risk of traumatic relationships.
A buddy of mine did nofap because he thought it was like a t-break for weed, but for cumming.
That totally works for me. Doing no fap for even a couple days makes real sex feel so much better.
It pisses me off that nofap and abstinence from porn has been co-opted by the reactionaries because I am one-hundred percent certain that in the future we are going to look back on widespread internet pornography as a major health crisis.
do you have any idea how much people were cranking it before the internet, dude? there were porn theaters. porn. theaters.
before video even, take a stroll down analog erotica lane sometime. ever since the printing press we've been dirty dirty dirty
But none of that compared to the staggering amount of high-speed internet porn that's available to people today, especially to young children. Its not really the idea of pornographic material itself, just the modern iteration that is so widely available.
is it though? you were 5 minutes away from a dirty magazine at any given time in the past century. 'finding dad's porn' was a trope for decades, be it video or paper.
But a single dirty magazine doesn't compare to the psychological affect of being exposed to a literally endless torrent of porn that caters to absolutely any fantasy or fetish. Its not that porn didn't exist in the past, but it has never been so widespread and easy to use. At the very least I know it ruins my mental health and ability to be intimate lol.
there wasn't a single dirty mag everyone shared, all your fetishes and fantasies were developed decades ago and you could find that shit at a store. there was nothing stopping people from overconsuming and having intimacy problems then either.
Yeah but im saying that over-consuming is a lot easier for people now, especially from a young age.
maybe. but the same is true for everything else and has been true for generations. like, there were people criticizing tv before the internet was a thing, and the radio before tv. i think people also used to criticize newspapers. and was it plato or aristotle (some greek philosopher) who was mad that kids were using slate and not just memorizing everything.
holy fuck this hit me really hard for some reason
why won't you take another path now?
I’m involuntarily volcel I guess.
I used to have a really high sex drive, but then I got an IUD put in like 6 years ago and it completely died. I got the IUD removed after 2 months but my sex drive never returned. I also have pelvic floor spasms, TMJ, and carpal tunnel so like all forms of sex and foreplay are painful.
I also gained a ton of weight after which I am now finally losing, so I’m hoping that when I feel attractive again I’ll want sex.
I think my husband I have had sex once in the past 2 years. I feel bad because I feel completely fulfilled by our marriage and I think I would be happy if I never had sex again.
I feel you on the lack of sex drive. My significant other thinks I'm not attracted to him anymore but I am, I just don't really crave sex anymore :/
Yes, exactly.
It’s not like I have a wandering eye. I don’t want to have sex with anyone, if I did, he’d be the first.
what would your thoughts be about him seeing somebody else for the purpose of sex?
Logically I’m open to it but I’m afraid that it’s a door that you can’t close once it’s open and I can’t be sure how it would actually make me feel.
I think I’d be more comfortable if it was a sex worker but I’m very scared to pull the trigger on letting it happen.
Nothing wrong with having a sex worker over. Anyway, life's too short to worry about what MIGHT happen, but if you have the funds to do so I'd get a therapist first.
Doesn't seem worth the hassle. Last two hookups I had didn't respect my boundaries at all, and now when I think of sex I just feel bored and uncomfortable. Dating apps - most of the time the person is considerably uglier in real life. Can't be arsed with it.
I just did a run of it because my partner had a uterine injury so even thinking about it caused some bleeding. I went into the full volcel lifestyle for a while to cope and it was reasonably plesant for a time. However I am not fundamentally ace or demi.
I eventually broke though. I created a fully disreputable wankstation. Hidden away I abandoned all shame and guilt and got some plastic cheeks to beat and just got it all out of my system. From this hyperbaric time training I have incread both my fuck power and fuckspeed. I think if it lasted long enough I eventually would have started seeing sexworkers periodically. It ended up being healthier for me. If I have another dryspell in the future I am going to go full waifu hunter first next time.
you can date a liberal its really not that bad not all libs are shitlibs most have their heart somewhat in the right place, its just that 99% of media libs are shitheads
When I finally transitioned and realized I'm transbian I realized that I'd have to do online dating if I wanted to ever meet anyone; online dating involves having pictures of yourself that you don't completely hate. I have not had a picture taken of me since I transitioned that I don't completely hate, thus no dating profile, thus no dating, and at this point I've accepted that I don't really need to date to be sexually fulfilled because I as it turns out what was unfulfilling about sex before was that I wasn't even participating in a way that I wanted and when I'm by myself I can do whatever I actually want and that's actually fairly fulfilling.
