Someone said something similar to me about my disabilitiy and what I went though. That they would have killed themselves if they were me. Another smash hit was when I was on a date a few years ago and the person was like "you're very young and look healthy, why'd you need a walking stick" and then proceeded to tell me to "sit up straight" and "stand up straight". When I explained that I was sitting up straight and had a spinal problem they were suddenly remorseful. Seriously people don't realise how deeply entrenched ableism is in everything. You're right it's very harmful and not fine at all