Have any queer vibes to share? Here's your place! 
Talk about what’s happening queerly in your life - like coming out, getting HRT, questioning, and all that good stuff.
No cishets allowed! 
Doing Ok!! After about idk, 10 months of silently wanting to somehow get to know the other trans woman in my office (I am closeted at work) it's finally maybe happening? So that's cool
That's so awesome! I had a friend crush (now we're great friends!) on the trans woman in my office as well while closeted so I know how happy you must be
How did you start talking to her?
We are traveling at the same time, we are usually on different shifts but now our shifts are closer together. But like since she doesn't know I'm trans I'm like really trying not to come off as weird or anything haha. Eventually I will tell her probably if we end up hanging out but idk I really don't wanna be overbearing or weird with this person 😅😅 I may have some anxiety over this lol. Also there is pretty much nobody that knew me as a guy who knows I'm trans. All the people who know I'm trans met me that way. This is definitely kind of a weird nerve wracking thing for me lol I'm sure other trans people delt with this though
I'm preparing for the trip to the first talk with my surgeon. After that, i got all i need to get the cost coverage for my bottom surgery affirmed. It's still a wait list of more than a year once i've got the clearance, but the day when i'm post hog is contantly drawing closer and i love it.
For the other stuff going on queerly in my life, see my
post further upthread 
Okayyy, 2 months into HRT and I totally understand why so many trans women become complete hermits during their early transition now
I still look completely cis and male but being outside today is terrifying for some reason
All the noises around me are so damn loud and making my brain hurt which never happened before, and my ability to socialize normally has been slowly deteriorating recently and now I can barely speak to strangers/acquaintances jesus
yeah i did a sort of lowkey coma for the first 1-3 months. your nose gets really sensitive too and i got a bit overwhelmed by everything.
your nose gets really sensitive too
Great when you want to sniff out if your homemade bell pepper dip is still good to eat, not so great at first when you discover that your pre-HRT bathroom cleaning schedule was waaaaaayyyyyy too optimistic for a woman's accute sense of smell.
That's so interesting! - now saying that it sounds like it really, really sucks to go through lol. I did social transition before HRT so I never got some of that. Stuff got different for me quickly in terms of headspace and emotions and, like, general vibe for sure after HRT. Hopefully stuff starts leveling out for you and you're able to figure out your new normal - relating to people as a woman is definitely different compared to as an egg, even if you're early in transition and things haven't changed really physical. Cis women usually get help and an induction from like a community or their parents over a decade or so, we get the accelerated track lol. Do you have any irl LGBT (or just T) support groups? They might help you work through this.
Not really. Half the people in the queer groups act weird once they find out I'm trans and I have literally nothing in common with the trans groups (they're all much older than me and we come from completely different walks of life and still do live completely different lives)
Thankfully one of my closest friends is also trans and so just feeling secure that she views me as a woman and being a great resource/advice for transitioning has helped a ton
socialist transition
socialism in one state
its all making sense now
I've been going to a queer polyam meetup group in my area for a few months now and had lots of cool convos and made friends in that space and it's been nice. Last week I ended up chatting with someone for like...most of the time, totally accidentally. Last night we had a date that went like, wow? I dunno, it was nice and totally unexpected. I wasn't going to the group to date, just to make friends and have community that understands queer polyam intersectionality, but it was still nice to make that kind of connection too. No point to any of this really but in the past like few weeks I feel like a lot of the queer community I've been trying to participate in I've been feeling more connected with and it's starting to really show, folks wanting to invite me to parties and asking if I'm coming to other similar events so they can hang out with me there. It's been very validating to a baby imposter feeling queer like myself too that all these queer communities are like ... yeah dude you're one of us. Hard to feel impostery when I'm so accepted.
I guess my point if I have one is that if you have any sort of queer or queer friendly community groups near you and they're nice you should definitely put in the effort to go to them and just like...be you and talk to people and make connections. It's been many months of me going to various queer and queer friendly community group things and I'm finally starting to make real friends and community in these spaces. It's very validating and nice and
. I hope you all can find groups like that too, or already have them.
look i just found out we have a poly pride hexbear now, that's so neat
fuck i'm stoned lol
Having a lot of self-discovery moments lately. I'm unpacking some internalized homophobia and accepting certain parts of myself.
I've noticed in the past partners have put a lot of gendered expectations on me in part due to my race and how I present. I don't necessarily want to present with more femininity, but I'd like to explore aspects of myself now that I'm aware of how much external pressure I've felt to behave in certain ways.
I don't know exactly what I want to change or how I want to present, but I feel better informed about the intersection of race and gender expectations when dating.
Update on the appointment I mentioned last thread: It went well, I need to get my bloodwork done then I'll have one more short call and should be able to get my E by the end of October/start of November.
My feelings still haven't quite settled but I'm at least a lot less stressed for these two appointments compared to the first. I did feel a little disappointed when I realised I had to wait a bit longer but that's mostly my fault for assuming they'd do everything on the same day. Plus waiting a bit longer means hiding the effects from my parents until I move should be a little bit easier.
Oh also I did manage to sleep the night before but ended out forgetting my lunch in the morning lol.
Found a really great queerfeminist bar last weekend. Absolutely wonderful place, we rolled in there with about a dozen dolled up trans people and we just immediately fit in there. I know i'm at home when the gender neutral bathroom stalls have writing like "10/10 toilet a trans girl got head here" on them. Spent most of the evening getting headpats from a very cute transfem catgirl that i had chatted up for the last couple days until i eventually took her home
So, it looks like i've got ... a pet now. And a really cute one at that. We've been chatting every day about kinky stuff since then and we're making all these plans what we can try out and it's really bringing out my dommy side.
Yay, subs are so cuuuute~
how can you not want to treat them so good and give them head rubs, make sure they drink their water and actually exercise for once, and then go totally primal and chew on 'em and mark em up 😀
Sometimes they do bite back, tho, my lower lip's still all chewed up lmao
My boobs are too big for my old cute button up tops I got before HRT 😫 now I'll take someone's eye out because the buttons are threatening to fly off like I'm in an anime
It's such a dumb complaint cause I wanted them to be a little bigger but I wasn't expecting a second boob growth spurt. I kinda thought I was done after the first round
i've had to give up a few tops i like because of this! it's super bittersweet
My government name is finally my actual name!! Took long enough wtf like 5 months
things are getting back to normal with my mom, but i know it's gotta get resolved eventually. I just hope i can find a job soon so i can move out and figure myself out in peace
my therapist has been nudging me to connect with some more queer community so i'm not so isolated, which i think is a good idea. hexbear has been helping
but it's not the same as grass-touching. i just don't have much patience for the practice of searching for friends. can't someone just instantly become best friends with me?i learned last night that i would have doomed my ex-husband to a life of relative loneliness if we had stayed together until we got old and i died.
fortunately it was illegal for us to get married back then so he got deported and our relationship ended; but he was young enough to move on when biden suddenly decided that gay marriage was suddenly okay after a half century of making laws to vilified gays.
I think I may have accidentally changed my gender last week. Idk I was just registering with the municipality (new country new city) and the info they put before me for some reason had my correct gender (and not the gender listed on the passport I gave them) and I wasn't about to "correct" them so I guess I'll have to see what happens with that lol
It's kinda sad going to work and being like the only trans person in the giant building, or feeling like that.
Okay transfems, what were your steps to start socially presenting in public when going to things yourself/with cis lib friends? I only feel safe doing it when organizing with my org and hanging out with my trans friend but she only ever goes outside when I invite her out to something so it's just once every week or two
It feels like without these two options there's no other way for me to practice feeling more comfortable presenting honestly without full sending it
When you figure this out please lmk. I am so fucking scared to go outside in fem clothes haha I'm fine and comfy in my house but yeah idk what the answer is.
For me it was just, I did it. I had a bit of a transition from just doing drag all the time. But going out en femme in the daytime was just one of those things that, for me, I had to just do and there wasnt any practice. It wasn't easy and I was anxious and nervous but it paid off and also, most people didn't care at all (masking helped a lot). Also, at some point my boobs got big enough to see through my old dysphoria sweaters so I eventually would've had to make the leap lol.
I did get fucking touched and handled way more "accidently" my first day out than in the previous 10 years which was annoying
