I call the whole discourse "fellas, is it gay to drink pink lemonade?" Like if I were to ever write a book on the topic that's the title. It's incredibly freeing to not sweat whether I'm going to be perceived as queer for doing something I like. I can dress how I please. I don't need to get my gender affirmation from an outside source. If you can accept that gender is something you self-identify, then you don't need your girlfriend to tell you that you're a man nor randos who come up to you. If they leave then you're still a man. If you were 5'2 and undesirable - even if you were a piece of shit and didn't know it you can still be a man. He can be more attractive than me and more worldly successful, but I'll still feel bad for him for grasping at frivolity to justify why he has some hang up about the term cis. "I act like a man" probably comes with plenty of trauma, frustration, and pain for him and the people around him.
. It's incredibly freeing to not sweat whether I'm going to be perceived as queer for doing something I like.
I've never been super concerned with how people see me but over the past couple years I really stopped giving a shit and it's great. I paint my nails, wear dresses, leave my long curly hair down (and still have a goaty, rather deep voice and traditional masc frame.) I refuse to call any of those things fem because I like them and I'm not fem therefore they must be gender neutral.
Side benefit is my wife has some really comfy cloths and some of them fit me so now I can steal her stuff too.
Cis fragility is a sight to behold
If you'd humor me for a paragraph of soapboxing:
I call the whole discourse "fellas, is it gay to drink pink lemonade?" Like if I were to ever write a book on the topic that's the title. It's incredibly freeing to not sweat whether I'm going to be perceived as queer for doing something I like. I can dress how I please. I don't need to get my gender affirmation from an outside source. If you can accept that gender is something you self-identify, then you don't need your girlfriend to tell you that you're a man nor randos who come up to you. If they leave then you're still a man. If you were 5'2 and undesirable - even if you were a piece of shit and didn't know it you can still be a man. He can be more attractive than me and more worldly successful, but I'll still feel bad for him for grasping at frivolity to justify why he has some hang up about the term cis. "I act like a man" probably comes with plenty of trauma, frustration, and pain for him and the people around him.
I've never been super concerned with how people see me but over the past couple years I really stopped giving a shit and it's great. I paint my nails, wear dresses, leave my long curly hair down (and still have a goaty, rather deep voice and traditional masc frame.) I refuse to call any of those things fem because I like them and I'm not fem therefore they must be gender neutral.
Side benefit is my wife has some really comfy cloths and some of them fit me so now I can steal her stuff too.