It has everything. It has:
- Giant 10 Commandments slab in the entryway
- A declaration of war against birds
- An old person's idea of the ideal zoomer store - a store just for taking selfies with random statues and backgrounds
- A restaurant that serves homemade soups and cobblers (soft food is good for dentures)
- A "WWII Museum" stocked by the guy down the street who has an alarming amount of Nazi war artifacts
A liminal space carved out of the carcass of 80s/90s consumerism. Some real twilight zone shit. A bizarre holographic projection of the past onto a more recent past onto the present.
"Stefon, please just tell us about a nice place people can take their family this weekend."
"New York's Hottest Club is called 'Mall.' It's got..."
Shit, that was my first thought too. Literally came here to make a comment like that. The list just screams it.