"Biden Administration looks for 'fresh start' after lackluster 100 days"

"Biden condemns violence of riots 'on both sides' after lastest fatal shootings"

"Hottest August on record"

"Nation mourns as covid-19 deaths hit 500,000"

"Stock market reaches record levels"

"Inspiring homeless nurse still manages to treat COVID19 patient, as new record of daily cases hits California"

"Former Presidents meet at Mar-a-Lago for photo shoot"

Shit isn't hard. Hire me The Onion.