"Biden Administration looks for 'fresh start' after lackluster 100 days"
"Biden condemns violence of riots 'on both sides' after lastest fatal shootings"
"Hottest August on record"
"Nation mourns as covid-19 deaths hit 500,000"
"Stock market reaches record levels"
"Inspiring homeless nurse still manages to treat COVID19 patient, as new record of daily cases hits California"
"Former Presidents meet at Mar-a-Lago for photo shoot"
Shit isn't hard. Hire me The Onion.
Joe Biden Has Been Inaugurated As President, But Some Republicans Disagree
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"House prices continue to soar despite record number of homeless people"
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"Target, Walmart, Safeway launch venture with Uber to staff stores with independent partners"
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"President Biden denies charges of racism; regrets calling factory worker a 'dumb nagger' in heated meet-and-greet discussion"
Oof the joint venture with Uber headline hits hard. Fuck that’s the worst one in this thread so far
God damn it. Three days..... just three days for this shit to happen
you get an extra 20 seconds with the community toothbrush for your timely predictions
For a while now I've wanted to do a sci fi thing where there's an "overpopulation crisis " despite the empty streets in the richer part of town (where the lumpenpro protagonist lives). Also as neoconservative movements gain momentum, government becomes smaller while corporations fill in the gap (police get defunded after riots, get replaced by corporations)
For a while now I’ve wanted to do a sci fi thing
Be the change. If not now, when?
yeah. ive never written anything before and this idea has been growing in my head since like 2015
Start posting it in the Mega-Thread, don't give context, from the first person
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"Yet another shipment of vaccines has gone missing and no one knows why."
"Riots heat up for a second summer in a row as a child was shot by police just weeks before Floyd anniversary"
"Why Biden disappearing for weeks at a time is actually good"
"President erupts at staff during factory visit"
"Why jobs are needed more than another stimulus check"
"Kamala sits down with family of child involved in a police shooting. Assures them that crime is high in agenda."
"The side of Trump you have never seen: how the presidency haunts him."
"Ivanka tells her story: how she managed to survive her dad's career"
"Drone footage shows Jefferey Epstein, alive, on remote tropical island"
"COVID beckons the return of house calls as overcrowded hospitals become focal points of viral transmission"
"Bezos: how a plucky farmhand became the world's first half-trillionaire"
"Tesla to begin manufacturing internal combustion engines"
"Why are we worrying over a vaccine? Masks and distancing worked just fine"
"China courts Iran: why we need to drop nukes right fucking now"
The hard part isn't figuring out what is gonna happen, its killing enough of your brain cells to write a headline that does straight faced manufacturing consent. A lot of it is simply ignoring the topic/issues. Your first one will definitely happen, but just will never get talked about, or "The case administering the vaccines by income." Even that is too close to the truth, tho
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"Why aren't millennials and Gen Z becoming CEOs?"
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"President Harris announces there will only be 4 plagues this year."
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"Healthcare debate reaches boiling point. Congressman overheard saying 'poors don't need lungs.'"
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"Evil insect race from another dimension conquers Earth and promptly devours world leaders. Public hails new leadership as improvement. All Hail our Insect Masters."
“Why aren’t millennials and Gen Z becoming CEOs?”
:che-laugh:
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nation mourns
No no no it would be something more like "Businesses struggle after covid toll reaches over 500,000. Request direct measures to save the economy."
Here's another I think might happen:
"Trump's new 20 billion Netflix reality show starts next week"
"Trump's new show is a new a side of the former President. A softer, friendly Trump"
ProtectnServe, the new app-based emergency services startup, launches in Minneapolis.
cops begin offering gig jobs to independent contractors by claiming the workers are operating as legal deputized bounty hunters, bounty hunting comes back in the stupidest way possible through apps and direct cash payments, climate change destroys earth and humanity resettles on Mars, crime syndicates form to combat the independent bounty hunters, jazz comes back due to nostalgia cycles, crime syndicates begin dealing in the performance enhancing drug "red eye", the hacker only known as 'Radical Edward' makes contact with a sentient terraforming satellite, etc etc. I think I've seen this one before
"Dow Jones experiences worst single day drop in history"
"McConnell says Senate will not confirm any replacement for Breyer"
"USA struggles to vaccinate population"
"10th state passes legislation mirroring California's Prop 22"
"China's war on billionaires"
"More Americans have been evicted in the last 3 months than in the past 15 years"
“USA struggles to vaccinate population”
"How the anti-vaccination movement went mainstream" as the manufacturing consent angle. It won't be Bidens/America's fault they fucked it up
Is Russia behind anti-vaccine movement? - our panel of experts tonight
You just wait.
This 100%. Going forward any problems with the vaccine roleout will be framed as antivacc people causing it, no matter how bad biden fucks it up
"Simply unseen since the Great Depression : the stock market loses 95% of its value"
"Over 1M Covid deaths in the US, vaccinations failed after millions of doses expired"
"We lost everything : how did the pandemic pushed millions of Americans into homelessness"
"Forest fires ravage Africa, Australia and the Americas, killing billions of animals"
"India and Pakistan officially at war", 2 weeks later "CONFIRMED : Nuclear detonations in both Pakistan and India; UN security council emergency meeting to take place"
"Far-right group claims both attacks in DC and Seattle"
"15% of Yemen's population died of starvation"
"A modern plague : suicides see an unprecendented rise in US, Europe."
"Over 3 billions Covid masks to be in the oceans by 2022."
"French presidential polls see Le Pen at 50% voting intentions"
Yes, I am a fun guy at parties.
Hey, it might not be lepen, good chance we get an ex general instead :^)
Fucking end me
Yes, I am a fun guy at parties.
I know the feeling. Been saying 2021 is gonna be worse than 2020 for months.
he'll come around to the splinter commune in st paul
"California Faces Rolling Blackouts as Wildfires Ravage The Foothills Outside Los Angeles."
"Governor Newsom to ban flavored E-Cigarettes as well as taxing Food Grade Propylene Glycol by 200%"
"Exemptions for Propylene Glycol Tax for Wine, Boating, Recreational Vehicle Industries"
President Biden Seeks to "Avoid Recession Measures as Extreme as Obama's"
Followed by "Biden's 4 Trillion dollar Bank Bailout and what it means for your Roth IRA"
Troubled white teen who were involved in the shooting of 12 protesters "the kindest person they know", says family.
Family says the child was regularly involved in local church bake sales and had all A's on his last report card.
meanwhile
Suspected criminal black man died in a police related kinetic shooting engagement for holding a particularly gun-shaped licorice stick in a threatening manner. Chief of police says "Look, the public needs to know that our officers are trained to react to a dangerous situation. The officer feared for his life." The suspect was revealed yesterday to have a storied criminal past with such heinous crimes as marijuana possession and speeding.
The officer feared for his life.”
Cops do be telling on themselves; a buncha racist, cowards, or racist cowards
"The Coronavirus isn't all bad. How corporations are leveraging unexpected pension surpluses into record stock performance."
"Air-filtration startup TruAir(tm) CEO talks about her daily routine, her rapid rise, being the youngest billionaire in history and addresses concerns about "privatizing breathing" in exclusive interview with TikTocNews"
