I've been a member of this community for about 3 years. in that time, I've gone from lib, through DSA, to something I'm comfortable calling a communist organizer. I discovered I was trans in this space and I have transitioned while posting and, in truth, I will always be fond of it for that reason. in my time here, I've made it a point to be open and share of myself as much as I can, partially because an open posture and profile helps my organizing, partially because I hate alienation, and partially in an effort to try and change this space into something welcoming for people of all genders, sexualities, races, and of differing ability. my hope has always been that by sharing freely of myself, I'd encourage others to do the same. it's in that spirit of openness that I offer this criticism of the userbase - as a whole and without reference to any particular individuals - and an explanation of why I will not be returning to this space. I encourage you all to look through my post history and attempt to understand who I am before you respond with vitriol - I have in fact done my best to make it as easy as possible.
it's ironic, I think, that what finally broke me wasn't the waves of transphobia - the truly nasty, or the insidious and subtle - that have, in the months since our pronouns struggle sessions, found their way into my inbox, the gaslighting over whether it was happening, or even the weird, harassing messages from chuds who decided I was to blame for their bans. it wasn't even the omnipresent misogyny and racism that makes this space so toxic for non-male and non-white users. nope, what broke me was two-fold.
first, the especially cishet white male audience here struggles with criticism. we laugh easily at reddit libs being blatantly racist or sexist but the community as a whole bristles at the notion that they might have work to do.
PSA: we have not won liberation. the hegemonic culture is extremely bigoted on so many axes. even if you spend a lifetime doing hard, careful introspection to root bigotry out of your hearts and minds, the very air you breathe instills it back within you. it's not a personal slight to be told you've fucked up.
in organizing spaces, we hold to a notion of accountability that attempts to raise up the voices of those harmed, especially marginalized people, in order to ensure that hegemonic cultural influences do not infiltrate our spaces and drive away the very people whose liberation we fight for - the American working class is far browner and queerer than the class reductionists pretend and to ignore those issues as predominantly cishet white male organizers, stepping into their spaces is to alienate them from the word go. this notion is utterly foreign to most of the userbase here and it leads to astonishing and bewildering defensiveness.
it is not the job of marginalized people to do emotional labor to make you okay with the fact that you've hurt them. the assumption that you are owed that labor is part of the system of oppression that makes life miserable for people you call comrade. it's the same notion as when a loved one informs you that you've hurt them - if you make it their problem to make you feel better about the fact, you're being an asshole. deal with the hurt you've caused, then deal with the feelings about yourself that having hurt someone causes within you.
this is such a core issue on this site and I've watched it drive away so many good comrades - especially, I've personally noticed, queer people, women, and people of color. I am certain that other marginalized identities are similarly driven away from this place.
please, stop defending this behavior.
please, stop engaging in it.
choose reflection, not defensiveness. you will not be made less. you will, in fact, become so much richer for the experiences and relationships that this space has the potential to foster, but that it cannot for the omnipresent toxicity.
on a more personal note, I'm also deeply frustrated with a space filled with apparent leftists that does so little organizing or any actual praxis. what does it mean to profess left politics and to engage in purely symbolic action. there is so much good and important work to be done. not all of it requires you to know and talk to people. it merely asks that you attempt to solve the problems that you yourself encounter and to share that work with as many others.
we talk endlessly about theory and which tendency is right - but just two days ago I posted a thread to collect the most useful works and so few found themselves able to contribute. someone commented to me that they thought it was the best thread they'd seen here but I was honestly disappointed. over more than a day, less than 10 users managed to even look through this site for resources to post. when I think what might have been... but we each expect someone else to do the work.
that alone would merely be irritating. but to follow that with incessant armchair speculation about the work others should do... I could never convince actual organizers to spend any time here. we joke about every one here being libs but what's the difference? what use our radicalization if all we can do is post about what other people do?
no one is coming to liberate you. we have to build the better world we claim to want. we are the only ones who can do it. it only gets done one brick at a time.
if this post offends you, whatever. I'm not reading the replies so vent all your rage.
if, on the other hand, this speaks to you, if you'd like ideas for necessary work that needs to get done, that would help real people, reach out to me on matrix. you can find me at @therivercass:chapo.chat. I am never without a list of a million different things that would make actual people's lives a little easier but that I will never have the time to get to. I promise, I only bite jackasses.
(apologies in advance to anyone that reaches out - my responses this week will be slow.)
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one of the more personal reasons I'm leaving is that I notice the same thing and it creates a duty for me to speak up, enmeshing me in too many pointless arguments with people who have no intention to reflect or hear criticism.
It's like being forced to be the fun killer, like being the parent that has to actually discipline the kids while the 'fun' parent comes out smelling like roses, you end up covered in shit with several angry children yelling at you for doing the right thing.
Even worse in this case, because 'having to speak up' in the first place is difficult and not many people want to, can, or will stick their necks out that far. And then eventually those that do get worn down until they stop speaking up, and then the very real problem can be quietly ignored.
This isn't necessarily an intentional process, but choosing to be blind to it is.
ever wonder why I don't speak up about ableism in the community anymore? This shit right here.
I wish you'd speak up about the ableism, friend. it's a subject I'm just not well enough informed on yet.
I wish I felt comfortable doing so anymore /:
I usually can't handle it. It's hard enough to put words to my thoughts without having to try and fail to make it so people can't take what I say in bad faith or get upset at me
But like you said, trying to explain, teach or even just point out the existence or flaws of something gets you enmeshed in poinless arguments with people who aren't arguing in good faith, but soley because they don't want to self crit, especially when the thing in question doesn't usually affect cis/het white people, even more especially when it's a result of that groups behavior directly
I feel this so deeply. it pains me to my core. solidarity, comrade.
This is me with basically everything, both irl and online. It's just so fucking tiring to have to explain it all. It's at the point where I don't even speak out against pretty much anything anymore. Maybe I just need to take a break from everything somehow.
Yeah, exactly!
For anyone who feels like you've done this to someone at some point, here:
The thing you in this situation don't understand (having a marginalized person explain something about their experience to you) is that while it may be your first brush with that topic or whatever it is, the person you're talking to lives with it at all times
It's like when you have a cast, everyone you meet's first question is "how'd you break your arm?" and even something so inoffensive gets really frustrating really quick
Except now it's even worse because it's not some inoffensive thing, it's traumatic, or the 'argument' is actually "justify your existence to me" or "explain why I should have to care about you/ your needs" and that shit is instantly draining.
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Removed by mod
what
Fuck off
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Of being too online. I'm going to keep this short, feel free to ban me over "transphobia" or "being uncivil on sad post"
I just find it rich that when in power, we still complain and complain and purge and still there is a fucking problem. Solution? No! Purge and struggle session? Yes. How long can this last? How many more struggle sessions do we need to actually weed out transphobes? Do we maybe actually need a sound strategy that actually deals with the problems instead of complaining and stirring up drama about "waves of transphobia" and "microaggressions"?
This website is 6 months old yet we still didn't come up with a method to truly deal with transphobia outside of entirely useless struggle sessions that don't work, as evidenced by insistence that this website is still full of hordes of transphobes.
Edit: it's kinda the same way with sectarianism - despite the insistence by Beatnik that this website is not sectarian, we still have huge issues with sectarianism. Actual solutions to this? No. Meaningless speeches? Yes!
Maybe it's incompetence of the mod team, rather than problem with sectarianism/transphobia, don't you think?
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Do you think that maybe, just maybe, the place feels hostile because people insist on fighting and participating in struggle sessions? Combativeness leads to hostility, it’s not controversial. We have to think stuff through and admins can make this space better by planning ban waves and executing them with a prepared statement instead of “Cass complained, which means I guess we are now in purge mode”.
Ban transphobes! Ban stupidpol users! Ban reactionaries! But you don’t have to accompany it with struggle sessions that attract far more reactionary users than we usually have
Leave the website if you have to, if you are feeling that it is hostile to you! It’s your prerogative! But it’s not necessary to accompany your departure with dramatic moaning and wailing about “this community bad, I’m tired of it”.
Ban debatebroism! But please as a mod team, think about it for a minute instead of forcing ScreamoBMO to mop up your PR blunders.
Do you see my point? Lead by example! You mods (and power users who have the mods on a leash) have no right to complain about this place being hostile because you have all tools in your hands to make it less hostile.
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This isn’t how public forums work. We have moderators, site mods, admins to clean up transphobia. Is there a reason why you can’t downvote, report, ping mod and move on? Why do you need to pick a fight?
do it quick, for all our sake's
Disagreeing with a mod not only leads you to getting banned, but they will also tell me to kill myself. What a nice and welcoming community, not hostile at all
i also mod !antifascism and !anti_cishet_aktion. interesting that you'd pick out !transenby_liberation, which i've only been modding for a week (as opposed to a month or more). :thinkin-lenin: