CW: transphobia
Are any of you dating/partners with a lib? how do you handle it? the woman I've been seeing is a lib. The worst of it is that she doesn't accept that personal pronouns are a thing, so definitely a bit of a transphob. I hope its just because she is just ignorant of the issues, but in other conservations we have she does some impressive level centrism and both-siding so I don't know. "Slavery wasn't bad because it was legal, everyone did it, nobody was saying it was bad at the time" etc.
We basically broke up last night, not directly because of these issues, but they are definitely a part of it. I want to be able to be completely mask off with my partner, but I also don't want to have to get into an argument every time I use "they" in the singular. I have moments of doubt where I worry I've fallen into a weird online cult and am now do the "oh, you like (BLANK)? name their last 3 albums," but with online leftist culture.
Since I do limited praxis, sometimes all of this feels theoretical. But when I open up /r/collapse or chapo.chat, I'd like to have a partner that would be able to see the world as I see it.
Otherwise we have a great time together and are able to have really good conversations. Even that we broke up last night was because she is great at communication and was able to draw this out of me. The conversation was something that I wanted to do, but I don't know when I would have gotten around to it on my own.
More broadly, how sure are you that you found the person that you want to be with? Did you feel that you compromised/settled? I don't really believe in romantic love, but maybe its just because I haven't found it yet.
should I put an ironic closing line, to act cool?
I definitely don't require my partner to agree with my politics. Especially because dating as a middle aged person like myself is already a shitshow. I'm picky enough in other areas (as I get older, I'm less willing to share space because I've got a very internalized 'way things ought to be', for example). Plus, I live in a rural area, and the dating pool is almost surely exactly what you think it is (putting "No Trumpers" in their profile is a bold thing here).
I do, however, want partners to share my ideals - ie, I had to break off a prospective relationship after a few dates because they expressed the old "I won't give $ to the destitute because they'll spend it on booze".
Edit: (hit post too quickly) the pronouns thing would be a problem if we discussed it and she still continued to unapologetically misgender people. That's just a matter of treating people with respect.
I love brain fucking those sorts of folks by telling them I give addicts money so they can get their fix