CW: transphobia

Are any of you dating/partners with a lib? how do you handle it? the woman I've been seeing is a lib. The worst of it is that she doesn't accept that personal pronouns are a thing, so definitely a bit of a transphob. I hope its just because she is just ignorant of the issues, but in other conservations we have she does some impressive level centrism and both-siding so I don't know. "Slavery wasn't bad because it was legal, everyone did it, nobody was saying it was bad at the time" etc.

We basically broke up last night, not directly because of these issues, but they are definitely a part of it. I want to be able to be completely mask off with my partner, but I also don't want to have to get into an argument every time I use "they" in the singular. I have moments of doubt where I worry I've fallen into a weird online cult and am now do the "oh, you like (BLANK)? name their last 3 albums," but with online leftist culture.

Since I do limited praxis, sometimes all of this feels theoretical. But when I open up /r/collapse or chapo.chat, I'd like to have a partner that would be able to see the world as I see it.

Otherwise we have a great time together and are able to have really good conversations. Even that we broke up last night was because she is great at communication and was able to draw this out of me. The conversation was something that I wanted to do, but I don't know when I would have gotten around to it on my own.

More broadly, how sure are you that you found the person that you want to be with? Did you feel that you compromised/settled? I don't really believe in romantic love, but maybe its just because I haven't found it yet.

should I put an ironic closing line, to act cool?

    • Zman51 [comrade/them]
      ·
      4 years ago

      Yeah, this, though I'd say it's more of a spectrum. I've met libs whose dating profile was full of pro-BLM, LGBT stuff, etc but when you get to talk to them more you find out they have open contempt for poor people and frame many issues in weird lib idpol (e.g. m4a supporters = berniebros, we need more POC drone pilots, etc).

      Some libs are good people, have a strong moral compass - I think these people are easier to move the needle on. But some folk are just too tired and overworked to engage in revolutionary politics. How much that matters to you is really your own call, but I don't think there's anything wrong with "settling" for a lib in a romantic relationship if they're generally a good person and you have a romantic connection.