https://twitter.com/lorenzofb/status/1348638602666905601?s=19

    • existentialspicerack [she/her,they/them]
      ·
      4 years ago

      in kink play that involves denial domination and chastity belts? there's a REASON communication in kink spaces is so important to avoid accidentally traumatizing people. because it's deliberately occluded in that space.

        • existentialspicerack [she/her,they/them]
          ·
          4 years ago

          its more important because the consent is already occluded by the situation/desires. the purpose of communication is indeed to clarify and route around it while maintaining the fantasy that one person is controlling the other against their will.

            • existentialspicerack [she/her,they/them]
              ·
              edit-2
              4 years ago

              I didn't say consent is inverted or made invisible, jusst that its a bit blurred/occluded/whateverotherwordsIused. the use of code or 'safe' words as clear shutdowns and shit are safeties on these (and other) practices.

              hikers and joggers have more safety practices than treadmill runners, and if it's a choice of spending time outdoors with one or the other, the former will almost always be the safer option.

              and no, not every d/s thing involves blurry consent. but a lot of them do. the whole idea of domination and unequal power is something that has no place in 'vanilla' sex, for precisely this reason. it's not a bad thing if you want to play with that, and the risks should be and (if the well established best-practices are implemented) are mitigated to almost nil.

              I'm not saying you should be rapey, im saying that people who go rock climbing have more dangerous fun than people who read trash novels all day. because of this they/we tend to be more safety conscious and less willing to bypass safeties on things without really damn good reasons. using a toy you don't fully understand is like free climbing a glacier on a windy evening without so much as gloves.