I was diagnosed with ADHD and started on medication at 12, but not really told anything about what it meant for me or how to deal with it, and when I was 18 -literally when my parents dropped me off at college- was told I was autistic
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I am probably slightly older than many of the people on here (early 40s). When I was younger, not only did girls not have ADHD, but my parents specifically didn't believe in mental illness in general. I grew up in a "the beatings will continue until morale improves" type of situation. And remember, this was before the internet was really a thing -- Dial-up, AOL.com, etc.
After a gigantic nervous breakdown that resulted in some pretty bad decisions in my 20s, I got pregnant with my first. Wow! I have pregnancy medicaid! Wow! The ob/gyn thinks I may have some issues with depression! WowwieZowwie I see a psychiatrist! Congrats! Not only is it a baby boy, but it's a diagnosed case of Major Depressive Disorder and ADD Inattentive type.
Of course, the USA being what it is, the only time I could actually see a doctor was when I was pregnant because otherwise I couldn't get medicaid. So, after my first brief stint on medication, I at least learned what "normal" was supposed to act like and got really good at pretending. I also was (unknowingly) self medicating via a rather large addiction to caffeine and ephedrine, which used to be legal until some idiots overdosed and had heart attacks on it.
Today, as a nominal adult, I'm on actual medication for both issues. Unfortunately, because I am an adult, I am still trying to convince my psych that my adderal needs increased. I'm pretty sure my 15mg is just about enough to make me able to realize I am still in over my head most of the time. I've learned so well how to pretend to be neurotypical that I have trouble convincing my doctor that I am medicated just enough to keep my head sorta straight and to realize when I am fucking up without having the ability to fix it without burning way more spoons than I have.
And, that turned into a novel. Oops?
this is the mark of the best posts. Thanks for sharing comrade!
God damn if this isn't one of my worst fears, I've gotten quite good at masking unless I'm distressed. Though, whenever I go through this particular thought loop, I always decide that in that case being misidentified would probably distress me enough for it to become apparent lol