Back again with these threads! For all the new folks, this is a safe space to tell us about anything cool you have going on, anything you want to vent about, and everything in between.

Remember, you are loved stalin-heart

Things have been up and down for me. In a glum mood today. Been hanging out with someone new, and that's been nice, I'm just not sure if I really want to keep it up. Home life is....fine, I guess. Still living with my ex, they're gonna give things until the end of the year to see if their career picks up any, and if not, they'll move home. That said, they've been talking about that for years, so I'll believe it when I see it. They broke down and finally yelled at me for the first time a few nights ago, so I silently carved a pumpkin and then just stayed over with the person I've been seeing. As nice as the couch I live on is, it was nice to sleep in a bed for a night or two this past week.

Job front is slow moving, but I had a promising interview last Wednesday. Was supposed to hear back Thurday afternoon or Friday, but even with a followup email I sent, no reply. Fingers crossed I guess.

I deleted a few of my dating apps, still have a small amount installed. A Maoist actually hollered at me this morning and wants to take me to an arcade. Not sure I have the energy though. Other people are asking me for dates, but I'm just...not replying. I should go do that now so I don't leave them hanging.

On a brighter note, 9 day tour coming up in 2 weeks, so that's cool! Without giving away too much (y'all know my band anyways and have seen my face), I'll be going around the midwest. We've been doing well on selling merch the past few months, so that money should be sufficient to cover the tour. Also, we'll have a roadie for the first time!

I'll end it here I guess. Hope all my comrades are well, and I love you! meow-hug

  • FourteenEyes [he/him]
    ·
    1 year ago

    The usual: stress, depression, anxiety, getting better at working with/understanding my AuDHD. Lots and lots of crying and sleepless nights lately. Those are probably more intertwined than I realized before now. Always seems to be. I dipped out of work after two hours today because I just didn't have it in me to face customers all day. Agonized over and procrastinated on some simple 3D Design class assignments before knocking them out in a few hours no problem. The anxiety over getting started on things and perfectionism hold me back, but being held accountable to a curriculum has done a lot to help me get past them. At a certain point I just have to make a dracula bed and a chair out of triangles and desk that I straight copied from one I used to use and call it a night.

    Trying to cut myself more slack, remind myself that people read my composure as confidence, that my coworkers find me interesting because of some of the weird things I've done for school or work, that people are impressed by the fact that I'm writing anything at all and speak a tiny bit of Spanish, etc. People do seem to like me more often than not these days. Hell, even my acting class seems to like me, and I'm basically playing Metaverse Jeffrey Epstein being interrogated by the internet police for my scene with my assigned partner. (Play is The Nether by Jennifer Haley, pretty uncomfortable but the teacher encouraged me to do it because she thought it'd be interesting and I have a good villainous voice/presence being a big guy with a booming voice. I'm being interrogated and insisting I have rights, and no you can't have my server, and it's all adults doing RP and I'm doing everyone a favor with my creepy VR Chat server for libertarians because what if I was out on the street like a Discord admin)

    Also reinstalled the dating apps but am treating them like slot machines at this point. Maybe a non-flakey person will pop out. But probably not.