Please don't ask internet fuckos who get off on strangers' personal drama to adjudicate your actions.
But, since we're here: Yeah, it's real fucked that we're so alienated and atomized that personal relationships have become series of transactions rather than bonds forged in proximity and mutual, unspecified debt. It's a perfectly normal and valid response to feel alienated and held at a distance from this situation. You say, "but I think what I wanted to tell her was I don't want to buy your nudes in exchange for something so trivial when all you had to do was ask me to buy you a shelf and I probably would have.. but the fact she's seeing me as a customer rather than a partner / friend upset me." and yeah, that's the crux of it and the part you need her to understand to move forward. Maybe it sounds risky and uncomfortable to be honest in this situation, but that kind of risk and vulnerability is what is necessary for close relationships to develop. We must be compassionate and kind with our friends, but we must also be clear and honest with each other when we feel slighted, giving our friends the opportunity to understand how they've made us feel and to explore why they've done what they've done. This practice is exceptionally important, for it allows us then to mutually alter our behavior, reconcile and forgive quickly, and move forward!
But don't use this as an opportunity to say you're trying to date them. That's an whole other can of worms.
Oof yeah, as someone in his early twenties, I don't think I could talk to most teens, even if they're 19. I'm sure there are exceptions and some 18/19 year olds are very mature (I wasn't tho, lol) but I don't think it's worth the effort. Let 'em all enjoy being freshers and dressing up for the damn expensive and boring frosh parties and joining a dozen club (dropping half of them half-way through and ghosting the rest) and transitioning from school to uni, then dorms to off-campus.
i need someone who's either about to graduate uni or already has and knows that academia is a giant business and you're the customer rather than being about that "dark academia aesthetic". Like, even 20 feels young.
Sorry, I just had another birthday, I'm getting old and I'm tired of life already.
Please don't ask internet fuckos who get off on strangers' personal drama to adjudicate your actions.
But, since we're here: Yeah, it's real fucked that we're so alienated and atomized that personal relationships have become series of transactions rather than bonds forged in proximity and mutual, unspecified debt. It's a perfectly normal and valid response to feel alienated and held at a distance from this situation. You say, "but I think what I wanted to tell her was I don't want to buy your nudes in exchange for something so trivial when all you had to do was ask me to buy you a shelf and I probably would have.. but the fact she's seeing me as a customer rather than a partner / friend upset me." and yeah, that's the crux of it and the part you need her to understand to move forward. Maybe it sounds risky and uncomfortable to be honest in this situation, but that kind of risk and vulnerability is what is necessary for close relationships to develop. We must be compassionate and kind with our friends, but we must also be clear and honest with each other when we feel slighted, giving our friends the opportunity to understand how they've made us feel and to explore why they've done what they've done. This practice is exceptionally important, for it allows us then to mutually alter our behavior, reconcile and forgive quickly, and move forward!
But don't use this as an opportunity to say you're trying to date them. That's an whole other can of worms.
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Oof yeah, as someone in his early twenties, I don't think I could talk to most teens, even if they're 19. I'm sure there are exceptions and some 18/19 year olds are very mature (I wasn't tho, lol) but I don't think it's worth the effort. Let 'em all enjoy being freshers and dressing up for the damn expensive and boring frosh parties and joining a dozen club (dropping half of them half-way through and ghosting the rest) and transitioning from school to uni, then dorms to off-campus.
i need someone who's either about to graduate uni or already has and knows that academia is a giant business and you're the customer rather than being about that "dark academia aesthetic". Like, even 20 feels young.
Sorry, I just had another birthday, I'm getting old and I'm tired of life already.