tell her that Israel requires anti-semtitism to exist in the West in order to validate its claimed position as a safe haven for Jews, and therefore endangers Jews more than it could ever protect them

Death to America

Think of all the Palestinian children crying, or who can no longer cry because of what Israel is. That should give you strength or perspective whenever you feel like faltering. It sucks to make someone you love cry and honestly it is probably best to just avoid the topic. However Finkelstein sticks out to me

“The childhood of tens of thousands of Palestinian youngsters is being lived from one trauma to the next, from horror to horror. Their homes are demolished, their parents are humiliated in front of their eyes, soldiers storm into their homes brutally in the middle of the night, tanks open fire on their classrooms. And they don’t have a psychological service. Have you ever heard of a Palestinian child who is a “victim of anxiety”?”

The public indifference that accompanies this pageant of unrelieved suffering makes all Israelis accomplices to a crime. Even parents, who understand what anxiety for a child’s fate means, turn away and don’t want to hear about the anxiety harbored by the parent on the other side of the fence. Who would have believed that Israeli soldiers would kill hundreds of children and that the majority of Israelis would remain silent? Even the Palestinian children have become part of the dehumanization campaign: killing hundreds of them is no longer a big deal.

I can't find the clip but there is one interview Norm gives in which he very heartbrokenly says "I cannot imagine the kind of person who could live with themselves, inflicting all this cruelty upon children, making sure they don't even get to have a childhood ."

You basically have to start with whether or not they believe Palestine is a nation and whether or not they have a right to self-defense.

Assuming they say yes to both, you have to ask them how they would act if someone showed up at their house and tried to kick them out and shoot them if they resisted? Would they fight back? Do Palestinians have a right to fight back against such a thing?

Assuming they say yes to that, I would explain the difference to them between Fatah and Hamas, that Fatah runs the West Bank, acknowledges Israel's right to exist, and works with the Israeli government instead of fighting them. I would then show them a map of the extent to which Israel has illegally settled and annexed the West Bank, in contravention of all international law (you should ask them if they believe international laws should apply to Israel or if the believe Jews Israelis are above the law). I would ask them if it looks like Israel has rewarded Fatah for these positions and is willing to work with them, or if Israel has made Fatah to look like fools. Compare that with the land that Hamas has lost in Gaza, and ask them, based on the maps, which strategy seems to be more effective for Palestine: fighting Israel or working with them. I would also explain to them that Israel continually embarrassing and ignoring Fatah is the reason for Hamas's significant popularity among Palestinians.

From there, I would show them the March of Return coverage and results, and how a peaceful protests worked out for Palestinians, and the lack if punishment that Israel received for shooting children. Show them photos of the children of possible. Show them the laws against being pro-BDS in US states, which is another peaceful protesting action. The goal here is to show them that peaceful protests has failed. Israel has 18 years of peace and largely peaceful protests since the last Intifada. You then need to stick to that peaceful protests as failed for Palestinians and demand of them if they beleive that Palestinians should roll over and die.

There's other stuff you could get into as well, like Israel's Nation-State Law, which says that only Jews have a right to self-determination in Israel. I would flat out ask how they would feel about it if the US had a law that said only Christians or White people have right to self-determination in the US.

If it is irreconcilable then might as well avoid talking about it with each other.

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I would prescribe "fake it till you make it".

Does she know about how Israel suppresses those anti-zionist Jews Jerusalem? What does she think about Finestein and/or Peled?

this may be bad advice depending on context- but with those members of my family I take the "I too LOVE spilling blood"; basically taking their couched words and speaking plainly. "Oh yes absolutely, because the prisoners escaped the prison and caused chaos- I totally agree we should murder their entire families" "I think Israel should strangle their babies! on live tv! just rip them from their mothers' arms!" because that's the reality of what Americans are giving Israel cart blanche to do.

"I don't care if they have to sink another US warship to do it- in order to put their lessors back in place" take their freakish positions and make them feel uncomfortable

Do they know about Rabin’s assasination?

Here’s a perspective from an anti-Zionist Israeli, fwiw. Random internet person, but it feels real. https://reddit.com/r/BlackWolfFeed/s/sevmv0LfmJ

When it’s your wife that’s tough, but there’s def certain people I’m actively avoiding right now

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