yeah i murdered this question via poor wording

what i meant to ask, plainly: would it be considered rude/insensitive/potentially triggering to say to someone that they are "victimizing themselves" in a public forum, for example (like chapo.chat); is that specific language considered potentially inappropriate and triggering.

i only ask because i assume most people who have been abused have also had to deal with the trauma of being told by abusers (and others) that they are in fact "victimizing themselves." i can only speak to my experiences and people close to me, though, so i thought i'd poll chapo.