I swear to god one of the things I want to do most in this world is shake these assholes by the shoulder and scream into their faces "TIME IS FUCKING LINEAR YOU DIPSHIT, AND I AM GOING TO KEEP SHAKING YOU UNTIL YOU UNDERSTAND THAT"

And then Taylor Swift's "Shake if Off" starts playing as I shake them until their spines break in three pieces and I spend whatever time left before getting spear-tackled by a cop yelling at their lifeless eyes.