okay, but think about it, all you do all day is sleep, hug, have humans treat you like a teddy bear, and the best part is that you have opposable thumbs so you can jerk your panda cock and its not like humans can say shit about it

you're a fucking red panda, what are they gonna do? teach you not to jerk off? bitch, ill just climb in a tree and cum on you

im a red panda, try and do shit ill knaw your ankles off motherfucker

and dont say you guys wanna be some dumbshit like a cat or a monkey, cuz its either you cant wack off or you get your tail cut off by a zimbabwean poacher.

dog? youd lick everything, imagine what dogs taste in a day? the disgusting stuff they consume?

regular panda? you'll starve to death before you get to roll around like a donkey kong boss.

im telling you, red panda is the choice and its my fucking fursona

  • yeehawman1312 [he/him,any]
    ·
    4 years ago

    you're mistaken, id want to be a red panda with donkey dick, so everybody knows not to fuck with me.

    its like how wild hamsters will bite the shit out of you if you pet them, except its a red panda rubbing his weirdly big veiny panda cock. the only animal i would feel guilty about it as is a quokka or a rat, because then theres always gonna be other rats around me and id have to do it in public with people who can actually converse with me

    ducks have corkscrew penis because theyre hardwired to be incels to female ducks so evolution was like "what the fuck do we do, they keep killing their mates", but it made a mistake in thinking wine opener dick would stop them, it just made them angrier. so youd have to be an incel as a duck

    • yeehawman1312 [he/him,any]
      ·
      4 years ago

      im coming back two hour later to say that if anything tiny supple panda hands are 1000% better than chunky rough human hands. if i was a red panda id cum like 9 times a day, regardless of whether it'd make me feel bad

      idek wtf you're thinking, who cares if you're a tiny fleshlight critter thats "supposed" to be innocent and lovable, cuteness still relates to promiscuity

      if im not on a list already im surprised.

        • yeehawman1312 [he/him,any]
          ·
          4 years ago

          im not attracted to animals, but if i was a red panda id be autosexual

          edit: but tbh red pandas have fuck me eyes so if it did im not gonna deny it