at some point in my life, i think probably when i was fully mature in my brain, i made a conscious decision to be kind and honest to others, by default. the guarded, reptile-brain of my youth just didn't seem all that functional anymore. maybe it's too transactional to even think of it in terms of "functional", but empathy and cooperation are what work best and are most resilient.

the weirdest sensation is being thought of as "naive" or a "dupe" by the reptiles out there, the kind of people that interpret kindness as weakness. like we don't notice them tell on themselves or we can't communicate with others in their warpaths.

kinda reminds me of dealing with young kids as an adult. young kids are routinely baffled at the notion that adults communicate with each other outside their perception. like a parent knowing their child fucked off in class because the teacher shot them an email about it.

let your big cooperative, empathy brain do its thing.