I know it isn't a single a-ha! moment for most people, but there must have been something that flipped the switch that informed your views into coming to understand that this country is the barbarism route of Luxemburg's Socialism or Barbarism.
For me it was the Iraq War, and the Michael Moore documentary Sicko that pushed me onto that intellectual and emotional understanding.
Fun fact, I was walking in a city neighborhood with friends many years back and they had to explicitly tell me not to give homeless and poor people on the street bits of spare money from my wallet when they begged for change, because I almost always coughed something up if my wallet wasn't empty. And I was a huge lib at the time. I was also very stingy when it came to spending on frivolous shit for myself.