Alright so in general, this community handled this whole ordeal really well during the investigation. But now that it's closed, turning it into a "meme" is still really harmful for anyone who has been sexually abused or has gone through the process of reporting sexual abuse.
Just, keep in mind that the jokes you make may seem harmless to you, but for people who have experienced this kind of thing (on both sides), it makes the community feel less like a safe space.
Yesterday, a bunch of people on the Discord were ripping the original story to pieces in a way that almost seemed victim-blame-y. While yes, I tended to agree with a lot of what those people were saying, anyone reading the reaction would likely feel uncomfortable or unable to come forward in the community if they had experienced sexual abuse without being "ripped apart."
I didn't see that much here on ChaCha, but it's worth a reminder. So, just something to keep in mind while y'all are celebrating.
Edit: y'all this should not be considered a "hot take"
Edit2: alright this has been extraordinarily exhausting so I'm gonna just.. call it quits for a lil bit on this. toodles.
maybe if you can't handle not using victim-blaming tropes when talking about it, it's best not to talk about it at all. and I'm not meaning you single you out here - I mean that for everyone.
What's a victim-blaming trope in this context? I'm not trying to debate bro you here, honestly. I'm willing to have my mind changed, but it seems like what people are saying is that even saying that the allegations seemed less than credible or that there were suspicious aspects to the account is enough to constitute being victim blamey, even if it's after the fact.
okay so a lot of it is what sappho already said here. that whole "I always knew it!!! what 15 year old likes craft beer! the omaha steaks! what a joke!!" kind of language can create unnecessary anxiety that every story (true story, of course), has to seem completely 100% plausible. when, sometimes, that literally just...isn't the case. or, even if it is the case and someone's experiences do seem to be "the norm," seeing the reactions here and the circlejerk behavior is enough to make someone question whether or not they would be taken seriously. yes, people generally kept quiet about it before, but seeing all this talk about how "this is what I was thinking the whole time," "I never believed it," etc etc etc only leads to SA survivors being extra wary of who in the community they can trust. because now, it feels like if I were to come forward with something, everyone would be secretly judging me and ripping me apart.
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I guess the short way to put it is "sometimes it's best to remain silent, even if you are correct". I think that emily's point is that you may have a person come along who sees "I knew it was fake all along" without knowing the details of this particular accusation.
Perhaps if they know the details as well as you do, they would understand what you mean and there wouldn't be an issue, but if they browse the site casually (or maybe heard about the hubub and wanted to check in) they would see a handful of comments like that with a few handfuls of upvotes and assume that this is the default attitude of this site toward SA accusations. This could be incredibly isolating toward someone who may be a victim of harassment or assault, when most of us intend to be inclusive of people who have those sorts of experiences.
My suggestion to anyone reading would be to re-iterate emily's original point, and try not to be overly snarky or memey about the situation. Any commentary should proabably be fairly verbose and lay out the context, instead of assuming that everyone already knows what you're talking about. If someone still wants to snark it up, it's probably best to take it to a group DM or something where your audience is a bit more limited and assumptions are safer. If someone is going to have the attitude of "it's the internet, if they don't have context it's not my problem, I don't really care" some self-criticism is probably in order.
Oops, it's my Achilles heel. Thanks to you and @emily for additional perspective on this