Hey, this is something that is eating me up lately and I'm not sure what to do or where to turn. Some context to the title:

I have a very good friend who I've known for years (he and his fiancée are both going to be members of my own wedding party) who I care about a lot. That being said, he comes from a family where his parents started their own company and both they and his brother do landlording on the side. He usually has a cycle of thinking about joining in and then backing out, and he is back in that mindset again. He's very frugal so he's saved up quite a but and after getting furloughed for a while he seems a bit more serious than usual. He's aware of my politics and I think I've been slowly making him see the light, but I'm at a roadblock. How do I tell this guy that I don't think he should be a landlord because they are scum, without also saying that I essentially think his family are scum? Is it even possible? I just feel like I need to say something if I want to call myself a leftist actually dedicated to making the world a better place. Thoughts?

  • Sushi_Desires
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    edit-2
    4 years ago

    I think gorn is correct; any attack or perceived attack on their moral position directly will be perceived as personal one, and will further entrench their position. I think this will require a "street epistemology" approach, which in practice (if they are willing to engage with an open mind) will look like a Socratic-style questioning that leads up to the inception of the idea that it would be exploitative and bad to become a landlord.

    This guy does it with religious people -> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ic8O-m1lAZo (I don't believe he is affiliated with the 'new atheism' movement thing that melted down into bigotry in the 2010's). It is interesting to see how he maneuvers to be as non-adversarial as possible. And remember that it is not about changing minds but leading someone through a logical chain that undermines their confidence in a belief that hopefully they will then dismantle on their own.

    • Gorn [they/them,he/him]
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      4 years ago

      This is completely it. You can't change someone's mind; you can only provide a situation, a moment, in which they might change their mind. You describe it perfectly, and I also am instantly in love with the phrase 'street epistemology' > :af-heart: