Okay, so I'm not proud to admit it, but I've been going a little hard on the alchohol lately. I'm ftm and I guess it triggered one of those weird-ass alchohol induced night terrors.
You see, in my dream, I had to go get a suit fitted for a funeral because someone choked to death on a chicken bone a la Mama Cass. The tailor was taking my measurements, every so often making the obligatory comment about "oh man, you really have that covid bod going on my dude, eat some fuckin celery".
At some point, he was like, "okay, can you take off your shirt?" and somewhat hesitantly, I did, and I shit you not, I take my fucking shirt off and for some reason I'm adorn in full fucking showgirl regalia. I'm standing half-naked in this fucking store and I'm wearing glitter and rhinestones and nipple tassels.
Obviously I'm kinda red faced about this and I'm like trying to cover my nipple tassels with my hands and the tailor is like "Dude, it's okay, I get it. Some of us are just born with nipple tassels." but he's trying to suppress his snickering and so I highly doubt his sincerity but respect his work ethic nonetheless.
I'm just like, "yeah, whatever, let's just get this over with" and then my fucking nipple tassels out of NOWHERE start spinning satanically on my chest. Like, these things were fucking MOTORIZED! And there's like glitter fucking flying everywhere and some of it lands in this guy's mouth and he's like choking on nipple confetti. He's like "get out of my fucking store", and I'm already fucking packing my shit while my nipple tassels slap me in the fucking face.
This all sounds silly, but I can't fucking describe the terror I felt throughout this whole entire ordeal. I swear to god, no cis person's brain is this talanted and frankly prodigal at conjuring up outlandish scenarios with which to terrorize and humiliate you.
I suppose that the moral of this story is that no, you will not magically grow motorized nipple tassels that spray glitter and confetti into the the gaping mouths of hapless bystanders if you go try to get your suit fitted. Your brain is just extrodinarily, supremely, uniquely fucked up and you desperately need to think more positive thoughts about yourself before you decompose into an inky, putrid, glutinous self-hatred monster.
That's a horrific dream, any man would be aghast at such a reveal.
I feel like men's tailoring has gotten such a bad riff. It has fallen into the wierd alienation the modern masculine has with clothing to the point that I imagine most men would be uncomfortable getting fitted for a suit.
I wouldn't know I get so blazed before sleeping I dont remember dreams.
I'm not going to read your nightmare because I have the feeling it will be way too close to home for me. But, yeah the society we have inherited is made to rot everyone into zombies (mentally, emotionally, etc) and working through that sucks ass under the best circumstances. The scale of it has really been hitting me hard lately, too.
idk man, I just get dreams about people misgendering me and inopportune erections. all the fucked up surrealist shit happens as I start to notice that things don't quite make sense and it's always about the world being incoherent, never myself (who may or may not even be in the dream, lol). and then my brain will buffer and I'll get stuck in a neverending hallway while it scrambles to figure out what's next, I'll realize it's a dream, and start lucid dreaming instead or wake up entirely.
I would but there's no guarantee that it's not going to start violently spinning around on its axis, spewing confetti into the mouths of hapless bystanders
Dreams?
Everything is now a continuous, unbroken hallucination. Is your life now the dream, also? Hidden in the tall grasses of the psyche, do the same nightmares lurk now in waking life?
What horror fell upon our souls to birth them: capitalism, fascism? The void? Being?
When I die I will call out the name of my mother. I will shriek bloodcurdling screams, and rain red terror upon my enemies, shrieking to her glory, the name of Mao.
Yes I ordered the frosty. Thank you
yeah my dreams are pretty terrifying too. instead of helicopter tassles its usually helicopter dick or getting a comically large boner that breaks the tuck
