This should be fucking obvious but an argument I just went through on Twitter (gods I really should just not get on twitter) tells me that even left-leaning people for some reason sometimes think they are owed this information simply because they are interested in flirting.
Transpeople have no obligation to out themselves. even if you have or are going to kiss, or date them.
To think otherwise is to assume you are owed knowledge about their body. To get upset after they do tell you is to assume you were entitled to continue the relationship, or that they were trying to manipulate you.
If you have hangups that would prevent a relationship it's on YOU to be upfront about them or to accept the potential disappointment with grace.
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honestly. people should just accept trans bodies. Whether we pass or not they put us in a category of "other" which is part of why they get upset when they find out and feel decieved. If being trans was no different than any other condition, regardless of appearance or stage of transition it wouldn't be a problem.
If you're attracted to someone then you're attracted to them. If they remove their clothes and you are no longer attracted to them, you politely shut down the encounter. How is that so hard for people to understand?