...but did you know that there were only 144 public toilets in Rome? These public toilets were where the real business happened - if you wanted to get anywhere in life, you had to shit with the right guys. It's called networking. And with only 144 total, you could do a full toilet tour fairly quickly.
Anyway, I have IBS so I shit a lot throughout the day and it got me thinking: would I have been the most powerful man in Rome? Think of all the secrets I'd overhear, the politicians I could blackmail, all from the comfort of the most powerful seat in the land. I promise you that if we ever return to such a system, I will use this power to bring about the revolution.
Have you tried cutting out dairy, gluten, meat, spice, etc? Like try going 2 days without dairy and see if there's any change. If there is an issue, you'd feel so much better, not just your pooping.
My partner's vegan, so while I still eat these things on occasion, they're not all that common in my home (except spices - I really like to heavily season my tofu). I'm pretty sure it's just genetic because one of my siblings was recently diagnosed with ulcerative colitis.