idk, maybe askchapo is a better place for this.
Does anyone have like...experience or knowledge about hiring that will calm my anxieties?
I have had several customer service jobs, and as much as I don't want to do it again I have to do something and I don't feel qualified for much else.
Looking at stuff in my area there is a part-time position at a library nearby which sounds bearable....but thinking about applying for anything just gives me anxiety.
I quit my first job after working for over a year to go back to school, but I eventually went to the psych ward and dropped out.
Then some time later I tried working at a gas station, but left a note and quit one night because I couldn't handle the hours and dysphoria.
I tried getting a part time position at a grocery store a bit after that but quit after a day or two.
Since then I have just been a neet.
I am terminally unhireable.
If I go to an interview I have no idea what I am going to say. Idk what a background check is going to reveal. I'm trying to get a hold of my life, but it feels pointless at this point, I don't pass, I can't hold down a job, even if I could no one would hire me.
wtf do I even do.
:deeper-sadness:
I'm not sure I can give you much advice, but one thing I notice about your post is that you seem to be putting up obstacles before you encounter them. Worry about what you'll say in an interview when you have an interview, worry about holding down a job when you have one, worry about a background check when you have one.
The thing to focus on now is actually completing applications and networking with people who might be able to help - there's a job at the library, do you know anyone (who knows anyone) who works there? Maybe even just go to the library and ask if there are open positions, what they're looking for, what you can do to maximize your chances of getting an interview, etc. Seriously, any face/voice time you have before your application is read goes miles toward making sure someone actually looks at it.
It's also pretty okay to lie about some things. Your gas station boss created an incredibly toxic work experience; at the grocery store, there was just a difference in expectations. Or ask friends/family members to pretend to be your prior supervisors for the purpose of references. You were never fired, you left in good standing.
Applying for jobs is one of the most awful everyday experiences - the constant, silent rejection just destroys motivation (at least it does for me). Try to systemize it - reward yourself for applications, make sure you do a minimum every day, etc.
This is all excellent advice.
I'm honestly thinking about just being completely honest and hoping pity gets me the job.
Idk if I can lie to people.
These are obstacles you can handle down the road since you don't have any interviews right now, but when that comes you should prepare answers to why you left each job you've had previously. It actually might be helpful to look up some youtube videos of hiring managers explaining their decision making process - pity is going to work against you most of the time. They're looking to make an economic decision, not an emotional one. A "pity" narrative is probably better told as a story of perseverance, not as a tragedy.
It's also important to remember that as awful as it is, you only need to do this until you actually get a job.
I guess...but I feel like there is a difference between the mentality of someone hiring for a firm or Corp and someone for a small town library