So Dan from Game Grumps (aged 42) is getting cancelled for supposed grooming. I don't want to say he's not a groomer, because theres stuff about other alleged behavior that isnt detailed at all in it.

But like the story presented is that a 17 year old fan started messaging him. He thanks her for her support and wishes her a happy birthday when she turns 18 about a month later. Then nothing is shown until the fans 22 and they exchange some cringey sexts. Then apparently they fuck and he breaks things off. And everyone's calling this grooming, but like, that's not what grooming is? I donno, it just feels like people really have been stretching definitions of things for the last year like with that Alex Morse thing to take advantage of cancel culture. And it seems like it only causes people to ignore victims who are actually groomed.

  • Bedulge [he/him]
    ·
    4 years ago

    Alright, lukewarm take on this stuff... having sex with someone that's like half your age is a bit creepy, no doubt, but like....

    a 22-year-old is a fucking full-grown adult. It is a grown-ass person who is out in the world, working, paying bills, paying taxes, drinking beer, voting, and doing all the other things that adults do. An adult has the right to have sex with whomever they desire, as long as they are both of age and are consenting, and there's not any kind of coercion going on. What is the issue here?

    Over the past couple years I've seen this 'grooming' and 'age gap' discourse growing and growing on Twitter and like... I just don't get it. I'm mid-twenties myself and the idea that I shouldn't have the right to fuck a 45-year-old if I want to is like... kind of infantilizing, is it not?

    IDK, im just not getting it. Why, out of all the stuff that is happening in the world, should I choose to concern myself with a consensual sexual relationship between two adults,, just because the age gap is usually large?

    • invalidusernamelol [he/him]
      ·
      4 years ago

      Famous people should only fuck other famous people, it's just cleaner that way. There's an implicit power dynamic when you're famous and the person you're fu king isn't. Not saying that the power dynamic makes these accusations more credible, but that it really does create a one sided thing. I'm sure him blowing her off felt a lot worse than a regular blow off because he was famous.

      Basically, ban groupies, stop fucking fans idiots.

        • invalidusernamelol [he/him]
          ·
          4 years ago

          In this case, the power comes from her being a fan since she was a child. He's been a very popular YouTuber for like a decade plus now, so 20 year olds were watching him when they were in middle/elementary school. He knew she was one of those fans and should have avoided that situation.

          Basically, anyone who likes you for reasons related to your fame is a dangerous situation. Doubly so if you were a formative influence on them (even if it was just poop jokes all the way down).

          And using your 100k twitter followers to get sex is weird, don't do it.

            • invalidusernamelol [he/him]
              ·
              4 years ago

              I'm not in any way saying that it's morally wrong to have sex with someone who likes you for your fame, just that it almost always ends like this because the other person is experiencing different emotions about the relationship than you. Even if it was totally consensual and nothing bad happened, they're still going to have to deal with the added emotion of essentially being rejected by someone they idolized and you end up with shit like this.

              I'm staying this more as a guideline than a hard rule. Kinda a "don't shit where you eat" type thing.

                • invalidusernamelol [he/him]
                  ·
                  4 years ago

                  Yeah, it's just a bad decision. Like fucking your bosses ex wife or something. Not morally wrong, but be prepared for the consequences.