Every time someone hammers a nail firmly a million suburbanites flood the forums with “I HEARD GUNSHOTS! ANYONE ELSE HEAR GUNSHOTS? TERRORIST INCIDENT?”
Still deciding between that and “WHAT IS THE HELICOPTER DOING LANDING ON TOP OF THE HOSPITAL?” as my favorite genre of cracker neighborpost
"Suspect is a black man wearing clothes between the age of 16 and 60" was a running joke for a while.