Clever_Clover [she/her]

  • 2 Posts
  • 81 Comments
Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: June 10th, 2023

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  • Hey, Clover here, your gay catgirl amateur chemist, doing okay-ish, probably a year or so until I can get away from my current situation.

    Anyway, wanted to update on the estrogen gel guide I was writing: it is being written very slowly, within hyoerfocused nights for a few hours, interspersed every few weeks

    I've got it basically done as a first draft, only one section is missing, and the accompanying excel sheet with all the calculations

    After that it'd still need to be read by people a bit and edited for clarity and to fix any mistakes

    I estimate maybe a month or two before I get to that step though, depending on how much my brain cooperates




  • Possibly unwanted advice, sorry if so.

    I can recommend IPL at home, if it works for your skin tone and hair color, it makes the hair grow back thinner, though I started out with extremely thick and dark hair, so my results are probably better than most people would get

    But at home IPL machines aren't that expensive and are relatively safe, and are far less painful compared to epilating, epilating does work, but it was simply too painful for me to do anything other than arms, probably due to how numerous my body hair was

    It does take a few hours every two weeks or so, but that's not too much time, and you can continue shaving normally (as opposed to epilating where you need to let the hair grow out)


  • made-in-china is a pretty good global supplier, here's an excerpt from the guide

    excerpt on how to source estrogen

    Sourcing estrogen

    Estradiol esters

    For estrogen gel you should use 17-beta estradiol (CAS 50-28-2), you may also use estradiol hemihydrate (CAS 35380-71-3), both should work, though I have personally only used the 17-beta ester. You should not use enanthate or valerate or cypionate, those are good for injections, but (afaik) have much lower absorbance through the skin, and make dosing more difficult due to their longer half life.

    Where to buy

    there are many places to buy estrogen powder from, this is due to it only being grey market and not a controlled substance, which makes access easier.

    depending on where you are, there may be local sellers that have warehouses locally, but those generally only take cryptocurrency, especially if you're in a more developed country.

    the main source as I see it is talking directly to Chinese suppliers, you can find them on made-in-china.com, that website has many sellers that list pure estrogen powder, and estrogen powder is cheap to manufacture so generally even the stuff that is sold for veterinary purposes is 99.9% pure and fit for human use, so there's no need to fret over purity too much, especially since we're making gel, not injections, your skin is good at not letting bad things in.

    on made-in-china.com you should search using both the name and the CAS number, once you find a seller check their listing, check the minimum order amount, check that they say they deliver 'to your door' or such phrases, or DHL express delivery, these are things they say to signal that they're willing to help you get around customs.

    Sellers on made-in-china.com accept crypto, but they generally also accept bank transfers and credit cards through alibaba payments (usually adds a 10 dollar fee or so)

    Once you find a seller that advertises the estrogen ester you want to buy, message them with an inquiry, ask what the minimum order amount is, how much that would cost per gram, how much is delivery, and if they can get it past customs of your specific country (mention which country it is), and mention that you're an individual buyer, not a business, you really need to ask all of these questions and see how they answer.

    Generally the minimum amount will be 10 grams or so (sometimes less, sometimes more), and this, including shipping will usually be around 150 or so dollars, but, buying double that amount, doesn't double the price as most of the price is made up by the shipping and the base fee for buying, so buying 20 grams might only cost 190-200 dollars, and going up further makes the price per grams cheaper (you might be able to get 100 grams for less than 300 dollars)

    The amount you choose to buy will tell you how long your supply will last, we can assume a 6 milligram/day dose (many people will need to take less, some more), and then extrapolate that out to years, and also, we should also consider a 30% loss due to losses while making the gel and the gel that will be stuck at the end of the bottles, etc, so 20 grams might last you anywhere between 5-7 years, or more, which is a pretty good supply (this implies that a hundred grams will last 25-35 years at that dose, yours will probably last longer due to 6mg being a fairly high dose).



  • I solved this for myself using an app called librera, I set the font to one I find easier to read and the text size is very big and scrolls down instead of pages, I also use the integrated tts ability, I like tts voices after tweaking them enough to make them sound nice

    So that's how I'm reading unjust depths, it's worth the read


  • I've started E about 40 something days ago, I feel good about it, the mental effects are nice, and I'm seeing some physical effects already which is also good

    I'm doing estrogen monotherapy using gel, homemade, and it has been working well as far as I can tell, I haven't gotten any blood work done but I'm planning on it soon

    I'm also experimenting with a different form https://stickies.neocities.org/stickies buccal absorb type things, I made some without estrogen and they seem to stick on very well and dissolve slowly, but it's kind of uncomfortable, I don't know if I'd get used to it or not, so not sure whether to make dosed one or not.

    Speaking of guides, I'm writing a guide on how to make gel at home, not 100% sure where I should post it when I'm done, but it's gonna be more thorough than anything I found while doing research to make my gel



  • transphobia, sad, family

    I wanna cry, still years away from getting to somewhere I could transition, and I have no solid plans, waiting for things to get more stable before I even really plan too far.

    it hurts knowing I'm gonna be cutting off family, interacting with them is, difficult now too, there's a feeling in the back of my head telling me how disgusting they'd think I am and how they'd reject me if they knew, and it's very hard to ignore and to just interact normally, the "love" and care they give me feels hollow and just not real, knowing that it's conditional on me pretending to be cis and hetero and fitting what they think I should be




  • I'm thinking out loud a little here but I think that the decision is "I don't take care of myself" (a behaviour driven by their dysphoria) which then manifests into "I still wouldn't take care of myself when I transition" which then manifests to "I shouldn't transition because I would suck as a woman". Part of the miscalculation here is that they don't realise that being happier in their bodies would also drive them to greater care of themselves.

    no need to call me out like this 😔


  • so what i don't understand is how prions can be resisted

    basically all prion diseases that we know of are not curable and have a 100% fatality rate

    and whether the epidemiology of a prion disease is about who ingests/receives an incorrectly folded protein

    well, it can depend on some things, like for example if there was a difference in how well your body worked without that certain protein being functional compared to another person who is less resilient when this particular protein doesn't work well, it's kind of the reason why the incubation period varies so widely, the build up and conversion from good proteins to misfolded ones isn't instant and takes time, so until that build up gets to a level where it causes symptoms we just don't know that the person has anything wrong with them

    or about individuals with particularly... foldable? proteins getting a prion and developing an illness that others wouldn't.

    there's variation between people of course, but no if a prion is a certain protein and you expose it to proteins of the same kind it makes them misfold, maybe certain people have a different variation of that protein that does the same job but is structured a little differently so it's not as susceptible or at all even, but that's speculation on my part, I haven't read deeply into this particular topic, generally speaking research into prion disease is still very inadequate, it's very rare, and is always fatal, so it's kind of hard to do research on

    i'm particularly confused because the immune system isn't involved, is it?

    yeah the immune system can't really fight it typically, because the protein matches the ones that the body uses, there isn't much to tip it off since the immune system doesn't look at protein folding, it looks at what proteins, sugars, and other molecules something has, in fact, the immune system can actually help the prion disease move into the body and reduce the incubation period as was seen in this study on rats, https://sci-hub.se/https://doi.org/10.1006/clim.2000.4875

    oh also, not every exposure would mean 100% getting infected, especially since the propagation of the misfolding isn't instant and takes time, so if those proteins get disposed of and replaced before they can spread (as the body naturally does dismantle and rebuild lots of proteins) then you wouldn't get infected

    though keep in mind that these are rare diseases, that affect like 1-2 people per million worldwide every year, some of those cases are due to infection (acquired), some are due to genetic issues that are inherited, meaning the body itself makes misfolded proteins sometimes due to genes being coded with a bad mutation in the area that codes for that protein, and some are just sporadic, meaning one protein just decides to misfold because it got built slightly wrong cause that person is extremely unlucky and then it spreads

    more reading here https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4890484/

    generally speaking, not something you wanna ever risk the chance of making more common


  • first of all, the game is alright, and second there isn't actually any sex, it's just a horror game with an extremely abusive manipulative sister/brother dynamic where there are a lot of fucked up things that happen like eating the neighbor, sacrificing souls to a demon, etc, near the end of the game there's a choice you can make that is that the sister gets more serious about making sure her brother is only hers and that implies incest, for some reason people on twitter got really mad at the inclusion of incest as a topic when it's very obviously not an endorsement but a bad theme like all of the others the game gets into


  • testing for prions, especially for ones that you don't know of yet (which can develop at any time in any person due to the nature of prions, but that's very very rare) is extremely difficult, when mad cow disease is detected in a cattle herd you cull the herd, it isn't worth it, the risk is far too high, and prions cannot be removed through anti-biotics or any kind of treatment, the only way to destroy them is denaturation through burning

    prions are misshapen proteins that 'spread' in that when they touch the normally shaped proteins of the same kind they can cause them to become misshapen in the same way too, and being misshapen means this protein can't do its job, and when it's job is keeping your brain working or doing other important biological functions, you can see where issues arise

    someone who was healthy at the end of their life may have prions in their body that were dormant and did not show symptoms, the longer you live the more likely you are to have proteins become misshapen, most are harmless and wouldn't spread anyway, and most people die without developing anything to do with prions because of just how unlikely it is to happen

    but in the rare chance someone's body produces a misfolded protein that is both infectious and affects an important biological function then that extremely small chance would be buried in the ground or incinerated the majority of the time, but if more people practiced cannibalism then that protein would have a field day as it spread to the first person and then through blood contact spread to others, because a lot of prion disease is slow acting and/or has a very long incubation period (multiple years)

    so not practicing cannibalism makes it a lot less likely for an untreatable deadly prion disease to materialize