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I don’t know, I just got finished talking with a trans woman who self identified as a moderate liberal.
I am now the second least rad transfem. moving up.
Was really a bummer, and I did not have the energy for that fucking conversation. At a certain point I just said, “I really don’t think we share much common ground here.”
eventually enough people will be like that and maybe itll give them some time to think
this is THE coolest post on hexbear. if this comes to fruition it will be such an incredible game changer for so many people
even if the most i ever accomplish in my life is being the goth girl that teenage me thought would never happen, that's still pretty good tbh
If I met 15 year old me, the question I'd ask myself would be "how did you get shorter the fuck?"
That's great alone and, besides, you've probably accomplished a lot, but don't realize the half of it.
IMHO.
Over the last several weeks, I've been talking a lot with my two closest friends. They're both trans femmes and they've been really great to me. They've been listening so closely to me working out over two decades of bottled up trauma and never seemed to get tired of it. I feel like such an unimaginable weight has been lifted
And the whole time I look back on that time I am absolutely baffled and astounded that they bit their tongues and never told me the most obvious thing on earth
Good afternoon, !traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns@hexbear.net. I made it :)
[CW: Doomer posting about R*ddit trans communities]
become curious
decide to lurk trans subreddits once again
have immediate regrets
Never going back to that site ever again, even just to lurk. It's insane how awful people are...
I'm baffled by how transphobic some trans people are, even in seemingly "welcoming" spaces.
Show
It's a known issue that cissies lurk trans subreddits and boost the good assimilationists
Extremely depressing how quick some of them are to throw fellow trans people under the bus to score imaginary points with cis people.
I'm baffled by how some people can be so staunchly convicted in being overtly hypocritical.
honestly, right now I don't even consider myself "trans", just "not cis" it doesn't feel like much, but honestly I can't understate what a huge effect telling myself that has had on me. It's been not even 4 days since the egg cracked and I've already found myself just... so happy. Twice I've randomly just teared up while driving around. I looked in the mirror and actually smiled at what I saw. I honest to god don't think I've ever even done that before :)
I can't even type the same anymore. I keep putting little heart emojis and :) smileys in everything and it's great! 💕💕💕
I always got so disappointed getting my hair cut. I always felt like I had to get it cut shorter than I wanted and it ended up even shorter afterwards. Whenever I showed people afterwords, I almost felt hurt when they said how nice it looked
Now I don't even have to go back to get my hair cut until next year :))). maybe it can wait even longer? who knows???
For healthy long hair the tips need to be cut every few months(for me around 6). You can generally tell when it's time yourself, when looking at your tips, for split ends.
Yeah, just not getting a haircut for that long is probably a bad idea, I just got excited at the thought of it. I should still get at least a trim every now and again
if you find a good nice hairdresser they can give you useful haircare tips. If you have a rarer hairtype(whatever that may be in your region) prepare look a long time for people who actually can give good tips.
It's like finally finding the last peice of the puzzle you've been looking for.
CW: The cheesiest, most Hallmark movie ass shit you've ever heard
It's funny looking back at it. Of course I had the "absolutely not cis" thoughts back then but there was a never ending well of suppression I could draw on to shrug them off. Only over the last like... 2-3 weeks of my life have I ever even made a decisive effort to actually start respecting myself and actually asking what I wanted. Only once I earnestly believed I could want things and I was deserving of them did the egg finally crack after 2 fuckin weeks
Now I get to do fun trans girl stuff and nobody can stop me :3
yeah!
but that's so real, i spent years repressing shit but now i constantly look back on being 13 and go "ohhh, that was because i was trans!" about all sorts of shit, it was absolutely impossible to take any step towards really knowing myself without having that ground understanding
Go to Nordstrom Rack.
Clerk asks to sign up for membership.
Say yes.
Give name, email, phone number.
Go home.Receive Nordstrom marketing email.
It's the women's catalogue.Receive Nordstrom marketing email.
It's the women's catalogue?Receive Nordstrom marketing email.
It's the women's catalogue!!Was at the hormone clinic yesterday and saw atleast two other cute girls
didnt say anything because they were talking with each other and didnt want to intrudeConsidering introducing myself at the local trans discord but I'm afraid of being perceived
just done with my skincare routine against laser face. it's a lot less severe this time, i'm 8 sessions in and at the point were the only real painful part is the upper lip, even the edges of my chin that used to be the absolute worst have become a minor nuisance by now
picked up a friend from the hospital after her second round of bottom surgery yesterday. she's still a bit fatigued, but everything went fine and she's extremely happy with the results. The trans joy she radiated was so contagious, it felt good to be a tiny part of that experience and to be there for her.
also i miss my gal pal, she's so sweet and caring and i feel so good around her. i've never had anybody make me feel so secure.
CW: transphobic policy and other anxiety provoking things.
Just need to rant and be heard by my comrades for a min. If you get anxiety or panic attacks from the worry of conservative's rabid pursuit of exterminating us, don't read this and get yourself wound up - I know that reading these things fucks me up.
Been getting a lot of severe anxiety about the plan 2025 stuff, though I haven't actually read it or watched Second Thought's video on it. Part of me is wondering why it's not being covered more. I generally see chuds and the people who go off about us as folks that couldn't organize their way out of a wet paper bag, I mean just look at the boarder convoy. Jan 6 was another one, they possess nothing beyond their grievance politics, and they have no ideology or clear cut objectives let alone organization. If they had these things in place, they may have actually succeeded in an overthrow. But it seems that this 2025 thing is actual policy planners, probably the same cadre of sick fucks that worked on Roe v. Wade for the past several decades.
Then I vacillate between these issues and climate change, I can't even see a temperature chart without feeling like I could throw up and God help me if I look at the doomer con.
I want to get the fuck out of the US, but I feel my spouse can't handle doing something like that. Truth be told, I was in a war once and it fucked me up - I don't want to do this shit again, especially in my own home town. God damn them all to hell.
If you've read this, thanks for hearing me out. I love you, you are beautiful, and you are worthy of love and respect.
I read your post and hear you. You definitely aren't alone.
i wonder if getting the estrogen will help me with my lack of motivation
in my experience: it helps some, but you may want to look into stimulants
stimulants like drugs or stimulants like coffee
adderall was a gamechanger for me, genuinely immediate massive differences in how much i can do in a day and at a time
coffee is kinda like a lesser version of that, but it also means my already high bathroom usage skyrockets which really limits its effect on my productivity
ill look into adderall, since coffee had a similar effect on me
thank you cromalin
There's several other stim medications too. The first ones that providers turn to though are non-stimulant (Strattera and sometimes the antidepressant bupropion), because they are not controlled substances and there's less abuse potential. If those work for you, great! If not, they'll move you on. The key is consistent communication with your provider, reporting all of your behaviors and symptoms.
obvious disclaimer that i am not a doctor and am not qualified to give actual medical advice, and what worked for me may not for you, and even if you have adhd adderall may not be ideal for you. but i went "i definitely have adhd, i need to get tested for adhd so i can get treated," got treated, and then was prescribed adderall. so if you think you might have adhd that would be my recommendation
I need to do this. I'm really struggling right now, and I strongly suspect it's ADHD. My fear, irrational as it no doubt is, is that I'll go in and be like, "I think I have adhd, please diagnose me", and they'll be like "you're lying to try and get drugs, fuck off". I'm a bit paralyzed by this fear, even though it's probably irrational and good god do I need to do something about my current situation, this is simply untenable!
yeah i felt a little like that when i went in for testing, but i just described the problems i was having and they went "oh that definitely sounds like adhd"
i hope you can get treatment, i was definitely the same way before testing
i am not a doctor and i can only speak based on my own experiences. but if you have adhd or similar symptoms and you're on meds that aren't super helpful, trying stimulants may be good
It did for me! I finished college with a 3.9 gpa after I started E, before I could only take like 1-2 classes a semester and occasionally failed them.
this is motivation
titties will give me better grades
but like literally they're my medically necessary titties
I have learned to care for my hair well enough to actually get compliments from women over it. Which makes me very happy.
Was kinda difficult too, since very few hairdressers here have any knowledge of how to care for my hairtype. I got a bunch of wrong and harmful "tips" till I found someone who could actually help me.
Now I just need to learn how to style it in more ways than just leaving it open, or having a ponytail.
Anyone have a good information on very curly blond hair? I feel like braiding it would diminish it's qualities. I like having natural corkscrews.
In some other ways I feel like I am stagnating in my transition, but I also feel that I should not be putting pressure on myself, things are moving, if slowly.
Life is going really well this week (well, big asterisk, cause ill probs be homeless come end of march) and ive been connecting with people and like having a lovely time being social. Idk having people who you like being around is really nice. Went to the local t4t night at a bar that is i think a socialist bar, which was fun. Went with some friends and just hung out and talked, which was really enjoyable, even if my anxiety was through the roof the entire time.
Life is just wonderful right now, even if I have no job prospects and all the housing ads i respond to say nah.
I also started P a week ago, which has been really nice and stabilized my mood a bit. Ive also been debating compounding my own P, but im afraid of ordering a kg of white powder to my door lol.
Its also my birthday soon which i have such mixed feelings about.
bit idea: a chain smoking trans girl who wants to change her name to nicorette
