triple treat box, three courses and the courses are:

bread

bread but as a side

bread but as a sweet

she is already making me worse

"solarpunk is cryptofash" i scrawl on the blackboard for the 999th time. once more, with feeling!

type-a vs type-b wifabetes

ok but Eric Adams is a compulsive liar. constant, sustained, even unnecessary lying. if you were gonna count up just the provable lies that guy tells and then use that to inform the probability that he's lying at any given moment, he'd probably beat coinflip odds

lol not just a propaganda bill, but literally JUST a propaganda bill. no stealthy chicanery or pseudocryptic naming convention, flat out JUST "gommunism bill"

inb4 you make the same comment a third time

CFOs, CTOs, CHROs, a myriad of Cs and Os

reports are trickling in that the crying baby was holding a fistful of crumpled boarding passes printed in Cyrillic

a recommendation to go "back to Windows 10."

yes yes, go back to windows 10, the version we are *checks notes* ...ending support for

so did the obvious contract killing come with specific stipulations for how a message should be sent (neato)

or was the contract killer ideologically sympathetic and doing pro bono work (basedbasedbased) (waow)

I'm going long on Citi stock, shooter rode off on a Citibike, showing how effective bicycles are in getting around NYC

...you needed a high-profile assassination to figure that out?

whether commuting or making a quick getaway, Citibike has you covered

ooh that's good, put that on a billboard

we need a word for the experience of being simultaneously shockingly surprised/pathetically unsurprised by a headline or article telling on itself/the writer/the editor/the paper

I'll contain my visceral revulsion since I know this image would piss the dork off

Simon Seeeezzzzz.... MARTIALAWGO!

I'm not even squinting. that's just a blatant tell. expect 'i worded this poorly' or some form of 'just asking questions' next.

OP I don't trust you, like, at all

we are sorry, please forgive us

God DAMN that is a bad way to apologize

I think if you shaved off his mustache he'd vanish in a puff of slurs and powdered energy drink

funcoland

WOW what a throwback

this but slap in a pic of the crypt keeper for Biden 2028