Volcatile [he/him]

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Joined 4 years ago
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Cake day: August 24th, 2020

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  • I've accepted that I won't cry when my father dies. I've thought about him dying often and even sometimes wished it would happen. He was never abusive to me or ever an active harm to me, but I can't remember a single time I felt like he loved me. We live together but never speak. I've wished he were gone because, like hooks writes, I think my life would be easier without him.

    Reading the preface felt like I was reading my own subconscious. I finally found the words for what I've always felt. I don't like the idea that when he dies, I'll never get the love I deserve from him. And I don't like the idea that I can actually repair our relationship before he dies. I don't want to repair anything. I simply hate talking to my father and can't fathom him expressing an emotion or listening to any of mine. But, this book has really forced me to look at my feelings and re-evaluate them.

    This is a good read.









  • Also just finished reading earlier this week. The most haunting part was learning that a decent portion of the killing was done by non-military, non-police locals. Neighbors killing neighbors because of anticommunist propaganda and state terror. I hate how much I can see a similar campaign happening in America, so many bloodthirsty conservatives ready for murdering communists to be legal.