I'm also interested
I'm also interested
Life is shockingly good right now and idk how to feel about that.
Idk why I used bullet points for such massive paragraphs. I think those are all the good trans news I've got going on.
Sam Francisco, to get a bunch of gender affirming surgery (assuming it's truly ALL expenses included, and surgery is an expense).
Replying again because I remembered a thought-
A sort of version of this question I've seen, that for me was a loooottt more helpful, but is more kinda aimed at sussing out if you're nonbinary vs male/female, was:
If you had been born as the opposite sex, would you have felt the need to physically transition?
And like. No? If I'd been born with a penis I think my main body dysphoria would've been over the fact that (based on my family) I would've been circumcised. The only physical change I would've done would be foreskin restoration, lol (also I'd work way harder at taking care of my butthole and not having hemorrhoids, since I wouldn't have the easier bottoming option I have now). Other than that I believe I'd just be a queer sometimes femme sometimes masc guy, I doubt I'd identify as any kind of trans.
But as is I was born into my body and have experienced decades of dysphoria and have been various states of egg for most of that time. I'm not a woman but living as a girl and then a woman has shaped so much of who I am, that to remove that, would fundamentally change me.
If there was a magical get a full sized uncut penis button I think I would probably (but like, I'm not even certain of that) press it?
But I'm not interested in any button that undoes my life. Because then I'm not me. And that line of thinking is confusing and gives me existential dread. No thanks.
I think I'll be coming out fully at some point this year. Being closeted is far too distressing these days, so, even though I dread the process of coming out, I think it's going to be necessary in the very near future.
I should be getting onto the top surgery waitlist in a week or two, which probably means I'll be on it for most of 2024 (and some or potentially all of 2025, too).
Potentially I'll also be legally changing my name and gender too, we'll see.
None of these things will be fun, but hopefully life afterwards will be more livable.
Yeah those questions made me doubt my gender for over a decade
Dating is literally hell
Egg shit I (an ftm egg) did, off the top of my head:
Ask people if they would still like me if I was a guy.
Make jokes about having a dick.
Have panic attacks when guys I was dating/fucking grabbed my tits or were obsessive about them.
Lament about how much nicer men's clothing is and how much easier it would be to be even slightly stylish as a guy.
Etc.
Somehow "good" and especially "hard" seem less unblemished than "fabulous"
I repressed my gender for ~7 years after coming out as nonbinary/questioning to my husband, when he said "as long as you're not a transman or don't get a beard."
Spoilers, I'm a transman.
Those 7 years were horrible for my mental and physical health. I lost so much.
I can't say what the right choice is for you. Having kids must make your decision even harder. Whatever you choose, you are valid.
But in my experience, the dysphoria and need to transition only got stronger with age. Until it finally got to the point where I think repressing it any longer would have literally killed me.
That's hilarious, and with an added layer of meaning as a transmasc who uses prosthetic and t- dicks.
I'm doing my part by becoming a dude
Weirdly enough I know a nonbinary transfemme who is completely closeted to her wife, and has been on hormones for a few years.
Some cis people ARE wildly clueless.