I do the same thing. I've found that I often am dealing with external stimuli that I just never considered to be part of the problem (very late diagnosis).
So as an example, sometimes when I'm working at my computer I find myself getting frustrated and then slowly start talking to myself in a very similar way as to what you've described here. It's kind of like I don't realize it's happening until I'm already 10 minutes in and then I'm experiencing a lot of executive dysfunction, etc.
Anyway, the point here is that I started analyzing the relationship between my behavior and my environment more after realizing I was autistic. I noticed that I was actually being overstimulated by normal, everyday things and not recognizing the overstimulation. So maybe the washing machine is on and it's a little too hot/cold, my body hurts, I have to pee, hungry, the lights are bright, etc. This shit all adds up and then I also have work I'm dealing with (I hate it so much), so yeah having a meltdown is inevitable a lot of the time.
I guess maybe try to think bigger about what you consider external stimuli and see if maybe that makes a difference in how you think about it. Generally I find that there might be one thing I focus on, but it's really 5+ things that just aren't as intense on their own
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