You’re fine the way you are, why aren’t you more confident about it? Just be yourself
for what it's worth, it's basically impossible to explain how the first twenty years of your life amount to getting violently punished every time you try to "be yourself" to someone who hasn't experienced that
One of my favorite things about having kids has been being autistic af around them and them returning the favor without blinking an eye. None of us round when we talk about the time. We make random stim noises at each other. We are very frank about our feelings and compensate for that by setting and enforcing explicit boundaries.
My oldest told me last week, “I know there’s nothing wrong with what you’re doing, but I’m finding it annoying which is a sign that I’m probably overstimulated, so I’m sorry to interrupt what we’re doing but I’m going to go take a break and come back when I’m more regulated. If I’m not back in 20 minutes, I probably got distracted, so can you set a timer to come check on me?” Reflecting on it now, I could sob. If I’d had that level of insight and communication skills at their age I would have saved myself a LOT of pain. It’s not their job to make me proud, but I am so proud anyway.
My oldest told me last week, “I know there’s nothing wrong with what you’re doing, but I’m finding it annoying which is a sign that I’m probably overstimulated, so I’m sorry to interrupt what we’re doing but I’m going to go take a break and come back when I’m more regulated. If I’m not back in 20 minutes, I probably got distracted, so can you set a timer to come check on me?”
:order-of-lenin:
That is genuinely awe inspiring. Good on them and good one you for nurturing this.
for what it's worth, it's basically impossible to explain how the first twenty years of your life amount to getting violently punished every time you try to "be yourself" to someone who hasn't experienced that
One of my favorite things about having kids has been being autistic af around them and them returning the favor without blinking an eye. None of us round when we talk about the time. We make random stim noises at each other. We are very frank about our feelings and compensate for that by setting and enforcing explicit boundaries.
My oldest told me last week, “I know there’s nothing wrong with what you’re doing, but I’m finding it annoying which is a sign that I’m probably overstimulated, so I’m sorry to interrupt what we’re doing but I’m going to go take a break and come back when I’m more regulated. If I’m not back in 20 minutes, I probably got distracted, so can you set a timer to come check on me?” Reflecting on it now, I could sob. If I’d had that level of insight and communication skills at their age I would have saved myself a LOT of pain. It’s not their job to make me proud, but I am so proud anyway.
:order-of-lenin:
That is genuinely awe inspiring. Good on them and good one you for nurturing this.
That makes me so happy to hear, I can't imagine how much pain growing up in an environment like that would've saved me from
My wife and I are both autistic and we do similar things to you and your family, it's really nice