I am still very early in this whole process, and there is still a lot of self doubt, so I am reading a lot of literature on "Am I trans" and dysphoria.

One concept that people often like to propose in these ressources is the button that makes you the opposite gender, and, crucially, also makes everyone else believe that you have been that way forever.

I don't really like this, because my time as a boy/man is part of who I am. I would not be me without it, and despite all of the problems I had and have due to my gender, it is still part of who I am. I fought through all of this and worked to find out who I want to be by myself. I wouldn't wanna be cis, and I also don't want to cease being the me born out of this struggle.

  • Dessa [she/her]
    ·
    edit-2
    10 months ago

    This reminds me of a program I heard on Radiolab about the first "female" gondolier in Venice (a 900 year old tradition of men only) whose egg cracked after shattering the glass ceiling. He discusses the conflict between his pride and defiance to even attempt this and his newly recognized identity as another man.

    It's a good listen (or read, if you prefer to read the transcript)

    https://radiolab.org/podcast/gondo