Assuming social pressure wasn't a factor, what would you like to be? Where does the center of your soul gravitate?

when it became known that I had “feelings for them” it seems like I stopped being one of their “girl friends.”

It's difficult to maintain friendships where attraction is asymmetrical. Most people don't have the maturity to get it under wraps and it tends to seep into every interaction regardless of gender. I don't know enough to say that your friend's internal transphobia is shining through but in general romantic feelings just complicate otherwise simple transactions.

I mean we can't say she wouldn't have reacted similarly whether or not you were a "real" girl in her eyes.