I have a friend who lives in another city about 3 hours from where I live. We were really close in middle school and high school but had a falling out, a few years ago we reconnected and found out we were both in our transitions now. We haven't made too much of an attempt to be long distance friends but we both have made trips to visit the other a few times now.

They've been having a hard time keeping a job, and I know they had a rough spot in their relationship, and then last night they posted a cryptic almost goodbye message to their Facebook and now they're not responding to calls/texts/anything and I don't know what to do. It's not my place to do a wellness check, especially would never call the police for one, but I don't know any of their IRL friends who could check. Or if they have any. I'm really worried about them and it's been the main thing on my brain all night/morning. I have to go to work now and somehow just be like "I think my friend is gone but I'm here 😅"

Idk what to do other than to continue living my life as I was and I feel such guilt for that. Not really sure why I made this post if I'm asking for advice or if I'm just venting or what.

  • Hurvitz [they/them]
    ·
    8 months ago

    If you're not close enough to feel comfortable going to them and doing a wellness check or calling one in with a non-police local org, then I'd give it a little longer before going any further, or even really worrying too much, at the very least a full day. Odds are they're fine (well probably not happy but you know, physically fine) and just disconnecting from the world and working through shit. I mean shit idk if they have vices but if they got super drunk or stoned or something they could still be asleep with a dead phone. I've probably done a depression sleep longer than that.

    If you really think there's an immediate danger you could avert that's different but just being cryptic and ghosting everyone for like 12-18 hrs isn't usually that. You know them better than we do.

    I'm sorry you're going through this, not knowing what to do or not being able to do anything is just the worst... meow-hug