Idk how old you are but like I think you need to be a bit gentle with yourself because at past for me, gender was an "immutable trait" when I was a kid and the idea of being trans was completely absent from my childhood. If you're over 25 likely it was the same for you. You were raised in a society .

That being said, I definitely feel invalid because I never played with barbies, I was never really super close friends with women, I'm not really all that femme.... but like I'm pretty sure I'm trans? I don't think I'm faking it? But sometimes it feels like it.

I guess, I also just wanna say that like every trans person deals with this feeling. I do.