I don't like my body, but somehow can't point to what would fix it? It's very frustrating. Like I know I hate my facial hair, but after I shave that still doesn't fix it, I still just hate my face. I feel like I should know what I want to look like. I know I don't like where I'm at, but have no idea where to go. Maybe eventually I'll see about trying hrt, the that'sdysphoria.fyi site made it seem pretty low risk to try? And most of the effects do sound pretty good. I don't know.
Honestly never thought I'd consider hrt. It's very odd.
For what its worth, I have no clear idea about what I want. But I'm also just starting. I just know I've spent too much time getting jealous every time someone talks about how they started or talking about effects. I know I'm bad at predicting what I would want, likely thanks to lots of years of repression. Worst case, it does nothing to benefit me but I'm quite certain I wouldn't find the effects to be negative. Was weird for me starting too: I've long thought it kinda strange that other people reported starting uncertain and being very happy with the results. One thing I was most uncertain about was breast growth since functionally they're useless and just extra weight bouncing around, but I didn't want to use SERMS because higher risks of side effects (I already break my bones just fine without osteoporosis). But trying out cosplaying as a feel character while wearing breastforms just seemed normal. So I feel pretty confident I wouldn't have a problem with that.
Also, I kinda don't want goals, because I feel having goals can mean failure to achieve goals and potential disappointment. So much YMMV with things.
I had a similar thing around my facial hair before i began transition. I hated it, but i also loved it because it hid my face. I had a big dysphoria beard, and shaved it a couple times, but every time i just let it grow back because what was underneath was so alien and weird and bad. Do you think youd like your face more if it were more feminine? Like dont try to focus on specific parts of your face, maybe dont even look in the mirror.
I think focusing on specific things can be a bit of a trap, both in that one can develop dismorphia, and in that ones transition might not change those things.
hrt risks (also just my opinions and not comprehensive and are specific to me and my risk assessment i did before starting transition)
Trying hrt is low risk in some ways, but that doesnt mean no risk. One should be ok with the risks before starting. The big one is that one may become sterile depending on how long one is on hrt. The others include genital atrophy and breast growth, but with genital atrophy it can be combatted to a certain degree by maintaining bloodflow for ~10 minutes every few days, and with breast growth one can always get a mastectomy (its probably easier to get if the doctors think their patient is a cis man, cause gender affirming care for cis people is common and simple to get comparatively)
I definitely swing the other way with it and shave it all.
Do you think you'd like your face more if it were more feminine?
I don't know I like feminine faces, and I definitely do not like mine, but making my face more feminine is so different to me. Like just a weird feeling idea. If I felt like it was mine (I feel like a fake a lot) I think I'd like it more.
spoiler
That page said cis people would know it wasn't right very quickly (paraphrasing, can't find the exact page atm), so I guess I thought I'd know quickly.
The big one is that one may become sterile depending on how long one is on hrt.
I've wanted a vasectomy for forever, so not really an issue for me thankfully.
I thought those were semi long term things, like 6 months to a year? But yes, those really are my two biggest concerns, especially if I'm unsure. It'd be a while before I could realistically start so I have more time to decide.
edit: honestly maybe it doesn't even matter rn, I wouldn't be able to get it for a while anyway.
Happy Early May Day!
kinda dysphoria posting
I don't like my body, but somehow can't point to what would fix it? It's very frustrating. Like I know I hate my facial hair, but after I shave that still doesn't fix it, I still just hate my face. I feel like I should know what I want to look like. I know I don't like where I'm at, but have no idea where to go. Maybe eventually I'll see about trying hrt, the that'sdysphoria.fyi site made it seem pretty low risk to try? And most of the effects do sound pretty good. I don't know.
Honestly never thought I'd consider hrt. It's very odd.
For what its worth, I have no clear idea about what I want. But I'm also just starting. I just know I've spent too much time getting jealous every time someone talks about how they started or talking about effects. I know I'm bad at predicting what I would want, likely thanks to lots of years of repression. Worst case, it does nothing to benefit me but I'm quite certain I wouldn't find the effects to be negative. Was weird for me starting too: I've long thought it kinda strange that other people reported starting uncertain and being very happy with the results. One thing I was most uncertain about was breast growth since functionally they're useless and just extra weight bouncing around, but I didn't want to use SERMS because higher risks of side effects (I already break my bones just fine without osteoporosis). But trying out cosplaying as a feel character while wearing breastforms just seemed normal. So I feel pretty confident I wouldn't have a problem with that.
Also, I kinda don't want goals, because I feel having goals can mean failure to achieve goals and potential disappointment. So much YMMV with things.
Thanks for sharing. Yea, not having goals is a good thing to keep in mind.
I had a similar thing around my facial hair before i began transition. I hated it, but i also loved it because it hid my face. I had a big dysphoria beard, and shaved it a couple times, but every time i just let it grow back because what was underneath was so alien and weird and bad. Do you think youd like your face more if it were more feminine? Like dont try to focus on specific parts of your face, maybe dont even look in the mirror.
I think focusing on specific things can be a bit of a trap, both in that one can develop dismorphia, and in that ones transition might not change those things.
hrt risks (also just my opinions and not comprehensive and are specific to me and my risk assessment i did before starting transition)
Trying hrt is low risk in some ways, but that doesnt mean no risk. One should be ok with the risks before starting. The big one is that one may become sterile depending on how long one is on hrt. The others include genital atrophy and breast growth, but with genital atrophy it can be combatted to a certain degree by maintaining bloodflow for ~10 minutes every few days, and with breast growth one can always get a mastectomy (its probably easier to get if the doctors think their patient is a cis man, cause gender affirming care for cis people is common and simple to get comparatively)
I definitely swing the other way with it and shave it all.
I don't know
I like feminine faces, and I definitely do not like mine, but making my face more feminine is so different to me. Like just a weird feeling idea. If I felt like it was mine (I feel like a fake a lot) I think I'd like it more.
spoiler
That page said cis people would know it wasn't right very quickly (paraphrasing, can't find the exact page atm), so I guess I thought I'd know quickly.
I thought those were semi long term things, like 6 months to a year? But yes, those really are my two biggest concerns, especially if I'm unsure. It'd be a while before I could realistically start so I have more time to decide.
edit: honestly maybe it doesn't even matter rn, I wouldn't be able to get it for a while anyway.