OK this is my list. But first, I need to say that this isn't a condemnation of those into such thing. They just don't vibe with me.

  1. Cannot get into ASMR. I've tried. Often its women 20 years younger than me, rubbing their fingernails on hairbrushes. The intentional sounds they make with their lips and fingers are things that would make me want to change seats on a bus.
  2. Instagram. I was maybe the last person to get a smart phone. It was probably 2016. I'm just fully lazy to take photos of stuff. This is a real issue when I'm single and I need to start putting photos on dating sites, as all pics of me in my phone are me squeezing carrots in my nostrils and similarly goofy things.
  3. My students' taste in anime. I try to be all cool and show off my cool taste in anime, maybe drop a Azumanga Daioh clip. It's all ancient history for 17 year olds.
  4. Photo and videos done in portrait mode. I guess I don't watch videos on the go. See #2

Things that the kids these days do better:

  • Usually better opinions on current events than people my age
  • I wish that cosplay existed when I was a teen. The default when I was younger was drugs.

If anyone insults the kids, I will visit you at your home and do an adventure-time

  • Frank [he/him, he/him]
    ·
    5 months ago

    It's so fucked. Back in my day when I was 7 they'd kick us out of the house with a juice box, a bike, and instructions not to come back until lunch or dinner. And that's literal! We had bears and moose and god knows what in the neighborhood and it was just like "Go outside and have fun" for hours every day during the summer and the weekends. When I was in highschool we'd stay out all night fucking around, wandering through neighborhoods, hanging out at Denny's, or driving to some of the trails and scenic overlooks outside town. That it's gotten so bad, and so restrictive, in a few decades of 24/7 news panicmongering is so frustrating. It shouldn't be like this!

    • Alaskaball [comrade/them]A
      ·
      5 months ago

      Basically my youth. The only dangerous thing I ever encountered was the fucking swarms of mosquitos and the neighbor kids playing pranks on me like trying to convince me a nugget of moose shit was a cookie.

      It tasted like wood.

      • Frank [he/him, he/him]
        ·
        5 months ago

        : p I never got got with moose poop, but there was definitely some intra-tweenage warfare going on.

        lol back in the day I nearly burned down the "woods" behind our house fucking with mosquito coils. I hate mosquitos with the fury of ten thousand haters. The only good thing about them is growing up in AK, I can laugh at folks in the lower 48 any time they say "The mosquitos are real bad out here!"

        • Alaskaball [comrade/them]A
          ·
          5 months ago

          to be fair I was like 3 or 4 when I got got by the neighbor kids.

          I've also accidentally almost burnt down or blown up the woods in a few neighborhoods because either unsupervised camping and making campfires, got out hands on fireworks, got our hands on gunpowder, got our hands on gasoline, got our hands on butane, etc.

          Now that I think about it I'm surprised none of us actually got seriously injured with all the dumb shit kids do.

    • Red_Eclipse [she/her]
      ·
      5 months ago

      It really shouldn't be like this and I think it did permanent damage to me, I'm like a skittish indoor cat now. Been trying to enjoy the outside more but I don't think I'll ever be at that level. My parents made me so anxious and nervous with their paranoia and worries.

      • Frank [he/him, he/him]
        ·
        5 months ago

        Fair, especially if they're younger. Are they old enough to recognize the symptoms? headache, shaky hands, feeling weak? If you fit them out with water bottles and snacks and they stay in the shade they should be able to hold out for a while. Especially if you send them out early in the morning and in the evening, and have them come back home for siesta during the hot part of the day.

        Damn, though, you are right. I'd never even considered that rising heat would be a hazard just for kids playing outside. Shit's dark. : *(