I'm not sure if I want to open myself up about "this". It's not because I feel vulnerable, but because some people might think less of me for it. In a way, it's showing someone a massive weak spot that could be used against me. So, while I'm writing this, it seems obvious to me that it is foolish. Yet still, I have a lingering urge to share some of these feelings.

Truthfully, I have never shared this with anyone. Not even in a therapy setting have I felt comfortable enough to do so. I did nothing illegal, so don't worry. Its also nothing sex related.

Hypothetical. Imagine I killed someone in self-defense. Even if people might be sympathetic, they would view me differently after I told them that. It would change my relationship with them. This is just an example for something that has the potential to greatly change the dynamic between people.

I DIDNT KILL SOMEONE.

Any input would be appreciated.

EDIT OK. I talked with someone about it. Feel a bit better. Probably wont disclose it on Hexbear but thanks for all the input.

  • Comp4 [comrade/them]
    ·
    4 months ago

    I didn't mean to say I killed someone. I meant to say there is something that could impact my relationship with people. Like if I were the great-grandchild of Heinrich Himmler. I'm NOT, but you get my point.

    Yes, I would feel more at peace if I didn't have to keep something a secret my whole life. I just fear people will judge me for it—something that I have basically no control over, by the way.

    • silent_water [she/her]
      ·
      4 months ago

      think it's easier to just say it than to do the gymnastics to find the right analogy here. it's hard to give advice without the real context.

      • Comp4 [comrade/them]
        ·
        4 months ago

        I might make a follow up post or I wont but I gotta think about how/what to say.

        • AOCapitulator [they/them, she/her]
          ·
          4 months ago

          The right play would probably have been to make an anonymous throwaway account and just asked directly

          Hope it worked out for you though :)

          • Comp4 [comrade/them]
            ·
            4 months ago

            I didn't think of that, but now it would be very obvious... I shared it with one person and it went well. After pondering about it, there would be little gained from sharing it on Hexbear. I do want to share it with people that I care about, though. I don't like keeping secrets.

            • Blockocheese [any]
              ·
              4 months ago

              Just because you don't let everyone know something doesn't mean you're actively keeping secrets and should feel bad.

              I took a huge shit today and me not telling everyone that isn't because I'm keeping secrets or hiding it, it just isnt for everyone who isn't reading this comment to know

              • Comp4 [comrade/them]
                ·
                4 months ago

                I meant keeping secrets that are relevant and in regards to people close to me. I want people that I like to truly know me. That includes secrets that might not be selling points.

    • Frank [he/him, he/him]
      ·
      4 months ago

      I mean that's legit. Trust is fragile and precious, the uncertainty of not knowing how people whose opinions you value will react is a very reasonable thing to be concerned about.