Hardmode: no healing ever.
Easy mode: you heal 5 hp per long rest.
Folks either way I'm not making it past one one week, hell I'm worried I'll make it through one day if it's a good day to laugh.
Source material
https://youtube.com/shorts/Jpo1Uh1uZCU
0 days
ayo we'll honk, hork, and squeak ourselves into an early grave together!
Here's a silly joke: how many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh?
it takes ten tickles!
God damn it Chuckles get out of my head